I’ve been sober for about 18 months now, and I do not feel like I have accomplished anything.
Today I was alone at the house I’m staying at, and decided to go for a walk since it was really nice outside.
I looked up on maps where things are that I could go to (I don’t know the area) and i found that not much is around here, but I found a liquor store nearby.
I wanted to shake the idea of going there, but my excuse was that a coffee shop was right next to it.
I started walking there, and 2/3 into it, I got scared and didn’t know what to do anymore. I felt so lost and so disgusted by myself. I turned and sat in a park.
I did not go to the store, and I did not tell anyone how I feel.
I just feel so bad about myself and where I was willing to go in order to fill a hole inside of me. I’ve been pretty lonely and can’t wait to go home in a few days, and I hope it will be better again when I’m back home.
Congratulations first of all on 18 months sober and also way to go on not giving into temptation. I know you are saddened that you almost went through with it, but you ultimately didn’t and you stayed strong and won that battle. I hope that you can see that side of this situation as well. Thank you for sharing with us and feel free to reach out here whenever you feel lonely.
Stay strong, we believe in you!
The fact is you didn’t go to the store. Proud of you. Way to stay strong.
Fiji
I’m not sure why you are upset with yourself my friend. I know that feeling all too well, and think you did great. It may have made you feel bad, but you ultimately didn’t end up going. I have always had those urges, and sadly cannot say I’ve beat them all. I’m only currently about 3 weeks sober, so I honestly look up to you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told myself I’m going to get a few miniatures, and it ends up being two pints by the end of the night.
Just by you posting, I’m sure you’ve helped so many people. They can now look at your story and realize it can be done. I am honestly one of those people, so thank you! If you ever have that feeling again, feel free to contact me. I have got with a few other community members, and we’ve formed our own little support group. Whenever we have those urges, we can lean on one another to get our minds right.
So you are more than welcome to message me anytime my friend. It’s really hard, because we all go through different things, and have different coping mechanisms. It’s just good to know there are other people in this community going through the same thing we are. So I beg you from the bottom of my heart not to see that as a failure, cuz you won that battle. Please keep holding fast my friend, and it’s a pleasure to have you in our community!
Thank you for your words.
Congratulations!
I know it’s hard… but I believe in you.
Yeah…I don’t know, I had a rough couple of weeks and I’ve been beating myself up for every little thing I’ve been doing wrong or almost did…
Again, thank you.
Hi Fiji!
Give yourself the love you would give your friend if this happened to them. Congratulations on your 18 months! This is something so amazing and I am very proud of you!
Hey, I can understand why you feel bad. But, you stayed strong and you made the choice not to do it. You are human. A thought is a thought. A feeling is a feeling. But what matters is how we choose to handle those thoughts and feelings. And while you may have started towards the less than ideal path, you actively made the decision to turn the other way.
That is something to be credited for. So don’t beat yourself up too much my friend.
Much love to you. I am proud of you for staying strong.
- Kitty