ive been struggling with mental health for the last 4(?) years roughly, and whej i was younger i went straight to bad habits.
those habits still stay with me and i still struggle with them, and recently ive gotten myself mainly out of a friend group where they acted like those habits were ok.
ive always been told like ‘its gonna get better’ and such but i just feel like im so deep in that i just cant get out
ive also got worsened anxiety (school) and everything feels 10 times worse (having nicotine in my system at some point recently)
ive lost all genuine motivation in things and its even hard to do simple thijgs like go out because i feel like my friends will notice n i have a massive thing about “what if i worry this person” and shit
some of my frienfs tell me not to do certain shit because it’ll make it worse (like smoke) and it feels so hard not to because it just makes me feel better? i guess?
ive done everything i can do to try get help and i have awfuk trust issues with counselors and such
my interests are at a complete low and its genuinelynexhausting to do the simplest things, it took me months to even shower n that wasnt even properly
i just dont know what to do, i dojt feel proper happiness any more, ita more like distracting from sadness kind of stuff, so it just piles on and absolutely kills my mental health because nothing i do really makes me happy
ive had so many suicidal thoughts as well recently so it just makes it harder to enjoy anything, and genuinely temps me to do something.
i dont know how to stop this, it feels like its just killing me till im actually dead at times