A broken wall of self image/self conscious

Well, I don’t know what to say beside I’m hurting inside and out . Emotionally . My self image / my self conscious has been down the wrong slide . . I feel like I’m not beautiful , I feel like I’m ugly . What people tell that’s positive I feel like it’s negative. why am I alive if I’m worthless if I’m worth thrash . I am . Noting I’m just ugly . I don’t diserve anything I just want to disappear and not have to deal with my image . Why can’t I just be gone , why can’t I just be dead … Will my self worth ever be back to normal ? I feel like I am just gonna be self conscious about my image over and over and over again. I wish I could just be gone . I wish you guys didn’t have to deal with me . I am worth nothing but a plain empty brick wall . I’m just ugly with no worth and a cringy voice . Why am I even alive .

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Hey @all_around_ashley

It sounds like you are having a hard time and I wish I could make it easier. You are loved and needed. You are alive because the universe needs you, exactly as you are, to be alive and part of things. You are alive to make music, and make crazy puns and jokes, and to be Oreo’s mom. You are worthwhile and worth having around, and you deserve all the love because you ARE you, and we need you to tell your story and share how you see the world. We love you exactly as you are. It is true that these difficult feelings are likely to come back, but you are strong and beautiful (I’ve seen pictures!) and it is important that you are here. Every time you counter a lie with the truth you get stronger and it will get easier a little at a time.
We love you, hold fast.

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Hey @all_around_ashley,

I’m so sorry to hear that you aren’t doing so good. Remember to separate feelings from facts. In other words, you might feel like you’re not beautiful, but this isn’t fact. The fact is that beauty is subjective. Or, just because you’re hard on yourself doesn’t mean that someone else won’t find you as the most beautiful thing in the world. “You are your own worst critic” - One of my favorite quotes. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m hearing a LOT of negative self-talk in your post. You will learn to believe anything you tell yourself, whether it be truths or lies. As uncomfortable as it will be at first, start speaking truths over yourself. You’re valuable. You’re a warrior. HeartSupport needs you. You can and WILL get through this. You’re worth it.

-Eric

When we are bombarded with negative thoughts or feelings, it can be so hard to see past the lies. I so get that. But let me also say, that your life does matter and you do have purpose. Even if you can’t see that right now. You are precious and treasured and loved by a God who thinks you are beautiful. He has great plans for you, even if that looks impossible right now. I’m not saying this from a place of some Christian who has it all together. I’m saying this from a place of deep struggle where I just want to give up, too. But I know the truth behind the lies. Even if it’s really hard to see right now and the part of me that’s struggling doesn’t want to focus on that right now. Let me know if you want to talk more. I don’t have all the answers. I’m a terrible mess, too. But I also know there’s more to this life than what I’m seeing and experiencing in the struggle day in and day out. :heart:

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. God thinks your beautiful ashley and he thinks your precious.

You are we worth more than you know. You may not feel beautiful but the fact is that you also a inner beauty. Let it shine more than your appearance. Everyone is unique. I often don’t feel beautiful but i am not built like others my foot turns out and eye turns in. Accept the way you are .
Hold fast

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@all_around_ashley,
The fact that you’re strong enough to make it this far and truthful enough to talk about how you’re feeling, makes you beautiful. I don’t have to see you or know you, I hear your words and know you are beautiful. You may think you are worthless, but some of us here are only going through each day to help others and know we’re not alone. In that, I think you are more worth than all the fancy opera houses and gold and glass. You are alive because Life knows you’re strong enough to live it. Looks aren’t everything. Being strong and having hope and being honest makes you a beautiful person. I don’t believe that someone who’s all of that is worthless.
You see yourself the way you do. But think about how we see you.
We love you. We need you. We believe in you. And we think you are a beautiful, strong person who is worth a life.
Never give up <3

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Hey there @all_around_ashley,

First off, thank you for posting. The fact that you are reaching out is a testament to how strong you are. You are not a worthless person and are beautiful both inside and out as beauty is such a subjective thing. We love having you here, so please do not feel like you are a burden either. Secondly, you are not better off dead and not equatable to trash. Living each day breathes new life into us and remember you are not alone on this journey of life. We all doubt ourselves at one point or another whether it be over our self-image, self-worth, or simply our very existence. You can overcome this as you are loved, needed, wanted, and respected so much. All of the best to you my friend.

–Evan

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