I love my boyfriend so much, he matters the world to me, but lately, I’ve been so confused and not sure what this is…
Me and my boyfriend have had quite a few fights this past week and a half, it’s gotten worse and worse and it’s generally about the same thing. I hate it when he yells at me, it scares me and gets me extremely anxious, when I ask him something or talk to him about something, he freaks out and lashes out at me. I recently had enough, telling him “Sebastian, I hate it when you yell at me and spam me with hurtful messages. I want you to stop doing it or control your anger, if you’re upset, tell me and tell me what I’m doing wrong at that moment and I’ll understand and we can move on with it…but if you continue this, I will have to leave. It’s not good for either of us in this relationship.” It continued with him saying “But you get me upset, you do this to me, you think I’m the bad guy.” Eventually after he kept screaming and crying at me while all I did was try to be assertive, he seemed to calm down when I let him have what he wanted. I don’t know why, but I took all the blame for the situation and he seemed to be better after that. I told him I felt suicidal, but he kept saying “You just got to not be so sensitive to things babe, you’re so hypersensitive”. On Overwatch, I asked someone if they could switch to a tank or whatever and they started being toxic while my boyfriend was saying “wow that’s pretty toxic” when I wasn’t. I disagreed with him and he continues to scream at me and yell, interrupting me (He interrupts me all the time). He sent me…such horrible messages and I’ll send a picture of what he sent me. He deleted these messages, then when I asked what they were, he sent them to me with much much more…He was so…angry. I hate this side of him. I come home from school only to get more messages from him and I ask him to leave me be because I had a long day and it’s emotionally exhausting. Now he’s saying he loves me and he wants to be with me but he hates it when I’m “like this”. He’s sending me more messages thinking everything is fine and dandy even when I’m dying on the inside. Is this abuse? I really don’t know. (I censored names of my friends and him for security reasons just in case someone adds him and harasses him. This is purely just to understand the situation, not to get anyone to harass him.)
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Sorry about the format, it glitched out all the photos, this is the order. 2nd photo is 1st, 1st is 2nd. 4th is 3rd and 3rd is 4th.
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Hi friend, thanks for sharing.
Unless he’s been doing this since day one, there must be something wrong with your boyfriend. I know it sounds dumb, but you should talk to him and ask him what’s wrong and if you could help (as I believe that’s what you want to do). Also try to ask a friend or his parents if they know something. This has been done to me several times before and the best thing to do is talking.
Also a few suggestions:
- don’t ever tell someone angry to calm down, or to control their anger. You’re just making them feel weak and they would rage out even more
- fighting is normal and it happens. There can’t be a relationship without fights. However, if things get fired up, safety always comes first. I don’t want to judge anyone, but I suffered from serious anger issues in the past and this is the step before punching someone straight in the face. With all your strength. Best thing to do is speak softly and gently, and to make the person concentrate on themselves and their surroundings. Rage and anger makes you feel so blind, and sometimes you don’t burst out like that on purpose.
Keep us updated, love you
pioggia 
He’s been doing it since day one and I told him I do not want to be talked to like that. It’s not a matter of being weak or not, I can’t be yelled at all the time.
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I think that with some people we can’t talk to.
In example my father- it’s just not possible and we have tried and tried but it’s just not possible.
I do understand some people have anger issues but that does not give them the right to hurt others.
There also comes a point to where talking doesn’t help and in my eyes that tether has to be cut from that person.
There comes a time when there are too many arguements. Relationships aren’t what Purplelilly has stated- I see this as a form of emotional abuse. I’m not a certified person but it’s just how I see it.
I do see your side but also I think that you should see what I have stated. Hold fast.
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Yeah, I was not trying to justify him, but I didn’t know he’s always been like that. This should never happen in a relationship. I don’t see a point in going on at this point honestly.
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