Some background for ya: I was emotionally abused and neglected by my father for years. My first boyfriend wasn’t much different, and left me as a hollow shell afterwards, and I was numb for 3 years. My most recent relationship included manipulation, emotional abuse and sexual abuse. I’ve got a long road of healing ahead of me but I wondered how you guys cope? What’s helped you heal? I need to heal my belief of never being good enough, my inner child needs tons of healing and I’m trying to figure out how to cope with complex ptsd from sexual abuse. Advice? I feel like I’m drowning, it’s hard to want to heal right now because it feels too scary in a warped way. But I don’t want to stay here either. Y’all are incredible people. 
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MY advice is to realize healing doesn’t mean the pain will go away. I myself am dealing with a lot of pain even though I’ve healed a lot. Best is to hope to alleviate the pain and cope with the trauma you’re going through. The Best method believe it or not is to talk about it (with someone you trust or a professional). The second best method from my experience is to find something that will help deal with the triggers when they come. It can be something you like doing like listening to music or having a self talk challenging all the negative thoughts going through your mind and seeing if they’re actually viable or not. (Don’t become your own echo chamber, this is a death trap.)
The method that I use is to let time heal it. If it bugs me I give it 2-3 hours and if it persists I give it a day or two. If it isn’t a problem anymore then move on and repeat when it rears its ugly head. If it does persist then get professional help whether it is a therapist, psychologist, hospitalization or calling a crisis line. If everything is overwhelming and you need change of pace then get a support group activity if there’s one in your area.
Of course any time you want come here and talk to us. (Vaguely or details-remember there are others hurting as well-) We can relate in one aspect or another.
Be strong. You deserve it.
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@MentallyillGamer thank you very much I just read your advice to this other individual going through it and I found a sense of reprieve and how you responded to their reaching out for help. I’ve been dealing with some s*** myself and I completely understand why sometimes it’s best to let time do the healing for you. Thank you for helping others to become a more complete human being.
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Hello @Boo_Kenjii Thank you for being open and vulnerable. I am so sorry you are dealing with so much emotional pain from your past relationships.
I may not have much advice but I just want you to know that you are wonderful just as you are. You are good enough and you are full of value and worth in the eyes of God. God loves you, no matter what. I can 100% assure you of that. It doesn’t mean things are easy but please know you are absolutely valued. If someone doesn’t think you are good enough, then that is there problem.
It’s so hard when life feels like it’s swallowing you up and the pain is so great. I get it. I am still feeling that way most days. Take some time to look at yourself in the mirror and just smile. Smile and tell yourself you are amazing and you have immense value!
I believe in your @Boo_Kenjii and we all care for you here! Please stay strong and hold onto hope!
Hi, Kenji,
I’m sorry that you have had to deal with any form of abuse at all. Nobody should ever have to live through it, yet so many do.
I was sexual abused by my grandfathers, I was assaulted when I was 15 and I never told anyone. And for many years I was used and treated like I was some sort of sexual object with no value. I hear your pain my friend.
For many years I didn’t know how to cope and handle the experiences I went through. And I fought against seeing a therapist. But years later after hurting and holding it all in for way too long, I finally agreed to seek out help. Having a therapist has been amazing for me. Though I won’t lie, took time to find. It requires time and patience to find the right therapist but is so worth it when you do.
As it allows you to talk with someone in a safe place where there is no judgement. You can just be raw and free if expression.
HeartSupport offers a 7 day free trial with a counseling service called BetterHelp. If you go into their twitch page twitch.tv/heartsupport , you can find a referral link to BetterHelp. Maybe this is something that could work for you.
Learning to deal with my traumas are still an ongoing battle for me. I’m currently trying to speak with a therapist through BetterHelp myself. It’s a slow process but has been working.
Another way that has helped me is through sharing my experiences with others who have also struggles the same trauma. It helps to know you aren’t alone and offer comfort to others. Being there for others has been a huge uplift for me.
Aside from that, I’m still learning myself. But we can learn and grow together. That’s what’s so great about heart support. We are here to love and support you. To encourage you the best way we can. And to remind you that you are important and valued. I hope you find this a safe place where you can open and share. And I hope you will join us on discord and in the heart support streams on twitch. So that we can better get to know you.
Hold fast
- Kitty
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