Alone, cold and scared

I feel really confused right now. My stomach keeps making noise, but I’m not hungry. I went downstairs to get food, but once I walked into the kitchen, voices started to tell me not to eat. I don’t even want to eat. I wanna go for a walk, but it’s too cold. We can’t afford heat right now either. I don’t even know if my stepmom knows I’m awake. I wanna walk away and never come back. I wanna cry until I can’t breathe anymore. I want to go to sleep and never wake up…

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Hey friend,
the best i can say, is don’t listen to the voice in your head. Eat what you can. I’ve dealt with eating issues in the past and i can tell you it’s not fun. The more we force ourselves to stay away from food, the harder it is to ut that food back in our bodies. I want you to be healthy friend, even if its hard, get a little something in your tummy.
There is purpose for your life. I’m so sorry things are hard. But you are strong and capable friend, and whatever you can’t handle God can. Idk if you believe that or not, but thats what i’ve come to know as the Truth. I know it’s hard, but beauty can come out of the pain you are feeling, if you allow it. Stay strong, there is so much more. I promise.

When you take a step forward each day to better yourself, you’re getting stronger. Seek the things that will help you. I promise they’re out there, we just gotta reach out.
praying for you friend! hold fast!

Hey friend,

One of the things I’d recommend is to start to journal those voices you hear. One of the things you want to get into a habit of is learning how to select when you listen to those voices and when you don’t, and the best way is to start to identify: when they’re telling me things, what is truth and what is a lie?

See, you’re not crazy for having voices in your head – we all have them…but you start to do “crazy things” when you listen to and operate on those voices if they’re telling you lies.

So for instance, if those voices were telling you “don’t eat because you’ve already eaten too much today, and it would be healthy for your body to wait before you eat again” – that would be a voice worth listening to if it was helping you take care of your body.

But if those voices were telling you, “Hey don’t eat because you’re a fat piece of shit and you deserve to die if you take one bite”…that would be something worth your scrutiny…because it’s saying “don’t eat because you are worthless”, and you being worthless is a lie. And so if it’s telling you to do something based on a lie, then you don’t need to listen to those voices.

Hope this makes sense. And it’ll be really helpful if you’ve been listening to those voices for a while to start to write them down so you can get to know which voices are truth and which of them are lies, and then we can start to build you up in a knowledge of the truth so you can know which ones are the ones to listen to and which ones are the ones to shut up!

It reminds me of particular crime-fighting roles…there are people specifically dedicated to identifying counterfeit money. They don’t study all the types of counterfeit, they study REALLY WELL what the official legit dollar looks like. And because they know the truth, they also know which ones are counterfeit or false or lies because they compare it to what they know to be true.

Hello friend,

I know how you feel. Everything seems dark and broken, and not having any desire to eat/sleep/doing anything is completely normal.

Voices in our heads are common too - everyone has them. Try to write down what they say and then think if they’re right: you’ll find out that the mind often plays ourselves.

If you have a close friend try to reach out, and if you ever find yourself in a similar situation in the future, writing down every single thing that crosses your mind helps reducing anxiety a lot.

Love you

Pioggia :sunflower: