Hey, long time no see…I wish I could keep on helping people out there but I just can’t do it right now. I feel so alone and miserable, I will spend my holidays completely alone with no one to share Christmas or New Year’s Eve with…I barely have friends and they’ll all be spending their winter vacations with their partners while I’ll be home alone drinking…there is also my old high school friends who keep messaging me and I don’t know why since I let them down and I’m worth nothing…I don’t know what to do and I feel like this situation is all my fault and I can’t do anything to make it better…I know it’s a stupid thing but horoscope says 2019 will be great for me but I don’t feel like it’ll be honestly…
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I think it would be a good idea to accept that your old friends are trying to reach out to you. You never know, time heals and maybe they don’t feel any negativity toward you. I know drinking won’t make anything better, maybe instead set up a weekend for friends to get together. Sometimes just getting a handful of people together to eat good food and laugh and tell jokes can make a world of difference. Even just hanging out with one person can make you feel a little less lonely. Just remember that alcohol is a depressant so it won’t help you feel any better. Just take it one day at a time 
This won’t last forever. Just because you are going to be alone for the holidays does not lower your own worth. It’s going to be a bit different for you but it’s just a handful of days. Like @Confused said, take it one day at a time.
You let people down, but you cannot expect yourself to be perfect. You are not God, you are a strong person that I see hope in.
Have hope <3
Reason To Live - KISS
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2019 won’t be great for you unless you make it great for you. If you don’t want to be lonely then don’t. I suggest getting a therapy pet.
Then reach out into the world and find ways to get involved. What others won’t be for you then be for them.
This is what I do. I got one IRL friend because of it. I know like 300 people. So my only problem is transportation. Once I get this fixed I get exposed to more people and get another friend out of 300, etc. I’ve a lot of buffers holding me back right now.
I’ll overcome it all. I’ll work on it and eventually it’ll happen. Same for you.
Don’t believe the negative even if it seems right at the moment.
Focus on those who reach out to you and love them. Shift your attention to them. It may help you.
Believe in yourself! ️
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@frapioggia ,
hey there , i know its hard to help when you feel emotionally drained. have you tried to step back to focus on yourself? It suck to feel alone on a holiday thats ment for family. by the way you arent worth nothing , you are you, you are human. just know you are loved no matter what.
Hey @frapioggia,
You are absolutely not alone in this fight. Thank you for reaching out!
There is a balance between giving and receiving, and too much of one thing can be considered unhealthy. The more you give, the more tired you become. Make sure to take time to care for yourself and to take the time to gather the energy to venture back out.
I’m not sure what you do for a job or what your hobbies are, but there are tons of opportunities out there to meet new people. If you’re religious, try getting involved in a local, healthy church. If you’re not religious, try broadening your network at your job or join a group of people with similar interests (i.e. a book club, sport club, etc).
Because your friends are continuing to reach out despite your past, it sounds like they love you unconditionally, which is something everyone strives to find in a friendship/relationship. You’re lucky! “Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, or love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism or complete love. Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is generally used to describe love between lovers. Unconditional love is also used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. An example of this is a parent’s love for their child; no matter a test score, a life changing decision, an argument, or a strong belief, the amount of love that remains between this bond is seen as unchanging and unconditional.”
Hold fast. We believe in you and we’re here for you! Keep pushing. You got this.
-Eric