Hi I’m Celena I’m 22 from MA and I struggle real bad from anxiety each day. I wasn’t diagnosed medically yet but I know it’s there. I have a boyfriend whom I live with we have been dating since October and it’s july so it’s been a while. He sees this eats me alive and doesn’t know how to help. I feel like I’m pushing him away. My minds constantly telling me your not good enough for him. Sometimes the way he can text with a . at the end of no pet name sends me spiraling into a world of scared ness of loss we broke up once and that killed me but we r better and it didn’t last long but losing him is something I’m scared of #1. I love him but each day I feel like it’s a ticking time bomb and one day it’s gonna blow. Me and my mom aren’t close so she never pushed independence on me so I never learned to drive do household chores take care of things or save. So he’s teaching me but sometimes I can get on his nerves sometimes it’s so hard. I feel like one days he’s gonna give up on me. I’ve been broken and heartbroken before and I’ve never been serious about anyone like this so if I lose this it will kill me beyond words and even in relationship wise I worry about everything and it’s unescapable I can’t escape it’s got me by the throat these scary thoughts flood me everyday. I heard about heart support at my first and last warped tour in Hartford CT and that’s why I’m here. I’d love all the advice I can get and I hope to help someone too
Hi Celena.
Welcome to the Heart Support community! Thanks for reaching out on here.
Living with anxiety can feel debilitating. Know that your worth and value isn’t defined by this anxiety or even what your boyfriend or anyone else thinks of it. Know that you are doing the best you can. You are strong and loved and beautiful - even when you feel messy and out of sorts.
I know it’s hard to deal with those thoughts all the time. That they affect you every day. But you are stronger than you know. You are a strong woman to be able to deal with that battle inside yourself every day.
You are precious and loved.
Sometimes the worst battles we face can end in great glory. We may not see it for years. But it can come.
If you ever want to talk, let me know. We’re here for you.
Hold fast, Celena. You are not defined by this. You are worth so much more than this battle.
@Celena413 I know it’s hard living with anxiety and dealing with debilitating thoughts everyday. But you’re not alone and you’re worth this fight. You’re not in this alone. We are all here for you.
Hold fast
Kayla
@NomadicWanderer Thank you so much that means a lot some days this battle almost gets me but I know I’m strong but the support on this page is great and again thank you
Thank you so much @Kayla I’m so glad I learned about this some days I feel superior against it and other days I feel torn down but I’m so great full for you and everyone here I wanna help many people as well as have people help me and again thanks❤️
This hits home real hard Celina. That feeling of not being good enough is a lie that has an effect on so many in our society. I wanna challenge you to say what would be good enough in your mind, but also to keep in mind that your boyfriend chose you over that. You just as you are, is what he desired. Now this is not me saying that you should rest on your laurels, because a relationship is also about personal growth. So your mom never taught you how to be independent (also assuming your dad didn’t) but there is a beautiful fact that every single human being is capable of learning things. My parents never really taught me much either, but I use Google and YouTube, etc as tools for growth. There you have a platform which upon you can set your goals, and please give yourself time and the grace necessary to successfully achieve that kind of learning. We all learn at our own pace and we all believe in you. I think there is a chance you will feel less anxious with the achievements of learning things, just a hunch.
You’re loved Celina, by all of us, and life is so much more than this. Feel free to hit me up if you need to vent or anything 
️
Thank you so much seeing all this love and support is making my day beyond easier and I’m so thankful This is all good ideas that are makin me feel like that things will soon get better and I’ll be sure to get in touch thank you and if you need to talk as well I’m a good listener @Hushy
Hey @Celena413,
You are absolutely not alone in this fight. Back in 2012 I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (among other things), and it has been an on-again-off-again battle. I don’t know if you’ve considered some medication for it, and although everyone is different, I’ve found that Venlafaxine helps me most with my anxiety. In addition, I’ve developed the following personal list to follow in times of extreme anxiety, and I hope it helps you too:
- Take deep breaths every time you think about breathing (“4-7-8 Method”)
- Consider taking mood-enhancing tablets (Omega-3, 5-MTHF)
- Get enough sleep (Go to bed early!)
- Watch/listen to your favorite comedian to boost your mood
- Exercise (Swim, if possible)
- Download Headspace/Breathe (iOS meditation apps)
- Temporary change music to something relaxing (i.e. Hammock)
-Eric
@Eric thank you so much very helpful I do plan on seeking help but I’ll keep those methods in mind I definitely have my very bad days