My brain gave up on me some days ago. I cant sleep, I have no appetite, I cant focus on anything more than few minutes and I’ve had a tennis ball sized lump in my throat and struggling to breathe properly ever since then. Every single day is struggling, I’m not sure how I’m gonna get through the day and I cant even think about how to survive a week.
I’ve been recommended treatment at psych ward before, but with my severe social anxiety disorder I always refused. In the past few months I’ve started to consider it a possibility. With this breakdown happening, I realized I need to do it. Things cant get any worse than this.
I went to a healthcare center, got a doctor’s appointment and asked him to get me in. No. There’s no space (which there never is tbh - the ward is way too small, it’s public knowledge that the place is always full). There’s couple places saved for urgent cases, but that means people who are about to kill themselves right now. I’m not suicidal, so no matter how shit I feel, I’m not urgent enough. He promised to send a word to my own doctor (who I don’t get along with and have seen twice in my 2 years of treatment) to hurry my appointment that I have scheduled in 2 weeks. I know how things go around here, and I know for a fact that nothing will happen in 2 weeks. And when I do finally get a doctor’s appointment when someone will write me in, I’ll still have to wait for a place to free up.
What I’m looking at is at least 2 weeks, in the worst case couple months of waiting. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do.