i keep self harming i cant get away from it im constantly on the urge of killing myslef i cant tell anyone the only reason i haven’t killed myself yet is because of ny boyfriend and i really dont wanna hutt him but i cant do anything ive been so depressed im not able to do anything I haven’t been showing up to school or wanting to see people i literally eant to isolste myself to the point i fucking lose it and kill myself i cant fucking do this every thing males me feel fucking awufl i hste being trans becuasud of the dusohira i hat ehavinv anxiety becuause of the side effects i hate all the other mentla healyh issues I probably fuckinf hwve i cant dela with suit i might just fuckifn kill mysley at this point i fail alk ym fucking exams and not ebe able to do abtrhinf and i have no fucojg chanfe if fucking getting away from that everything is fuciing iver i dint get why i shoulcnt fucking kill mydelf ive lost almost fucking everything i dont see the fuciing point anykroe i really fuciing dont
I know how you feel. Nothing I do recently feels accomplishing or rewarding. And I get overwhelmed by the smallest of things. Just like you, I only truly feel at peace/happy when with my significant other. Have you tried talking to him? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind talking with you about something affecting you so heavily. Personally, it’s helped me be more open with my partner and it just doesn’t feel like I’m alone when dealing with my dark thoughts anymore.
If you don’t want to push your thoughts onto him because you’re not sure if he’s ok with/ able to handle the issues you’re dealing with try asking if he would listen to you. At least give him a heads up about what you’d like to talk to him about rather than just throw such a strong topic onto him. You know?
And if you just don’t want to talk to him about such things yet I’m here if you’d like to talk 
You’re not alone.
Love,
The biggest of the mistakes BigMsSteak
@oneforyouoneforme
Pls don’t die. I want you to get better! I want you to overcome your dysphoria and become the beautiful person you deserve to be. Please find the hotline for your country and call it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
You are valid. You are worthy of love. 
Hey we posted this on Instagram and received and overwhelming amount and love and encouragement for you! You are so loved! Hold fast
Please know that killing yourself isn’t the way to solve your problems, and will cause nothing but hurt to those who love you including everyone here. I can’t imagine how trapped inside your mind your issues make you, but I do know how it is to feel that way and to feel like there is no other answer. It may seem like you can’t find any other solution to your problems right now, but to take your life would be to give up entirely and not even give yourself the chance. You’re worth taking a chance on, if not for someone else than for yourself.
You may not realize it yet, but you are probably a lot stronger than others around you.
You ARE worth it, please don’t give up.
fuck i havent been here for a few months but this genuinely mafe me cry (not in a bad way) thank you
tjank you for this, i habe a lot of anxiety with phone calls but thankou
thank you for this, i havent been on here for a few months for reasons and im thankful i got back to this in the time i did (been having a massive rough pwtch with mental health recently)