Don’t know why I feel this when I know shouldn’t

Recently I got out of a terrible relationship I was in for over a year I was always scared to do something about it due to the fact that my partner might do something to me. I finally got out of the situation and police are dealing with it now but, I feel that I still care for them and think what I did was wrong. I keep playing out scenarios in my mind what’s going to happen if he gets let out. I know I’m safe at my friends house but my mind is telling me I’m not because I chose to come out of the silence and stop the pain they where causing me. I just feel so lost, confused, angry and, sad I don’t know why I feel this way when I shouldn’t because of all the pain they caused to me.

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Fear & Worries put doubt in one’s mind when you’re trying to stick up for yourself. Best way to stay safe is distance. The more distance between you the more odds increase that he won’t ever get to you. IDK if you did anything wrong. IDK you or your story. I Do Know that nobody should be in a relationship out of fear. I don’t want a relationship where I am afraid to do anything out of fear what my lover would do to me.

I, myself have never thought of being in a relationship for the longest time for I liked my independence. I like feeling in control, Another reason and main reason that I didn’t put myself much on the dating scene is I didn’t think too much on myself. I became involved with someone online and we’re in a relationship. So I guess we’re in a long distance relationship. I hope when we meet it won’t be cringey or get into such a relationship where she constrains me or I constrain her. I doubt it.

Believe it or not I want the same for you for everyone. A healthy relationship is to have a healthy support. A relationship where you can depend on one another yet maintain your independence. A relationship where you are accepted, loved and respected as a part of your lover’s life yet respected as your own being.

Be strong.

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@MentallyillGamer no matter the distance of how far I will go it’s jjsy scares me to no end that he might be let out.

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He hurt you & exerted his control over you by making you fear him. Anyone like that should make you feel afraid. I am a big burly man myself and there are people that I am afraid of (that doesn’t mean I won’t protect myself). I’m just saying the hurt some people do to you just doesn’t go away.

I always expect the worse no matter how positive I am. It seems everytime I open myself up instead of guarding myself I end up getting hurt more. So I try to be cautious (even though lately I been somewhat lax). Yet I don’t want to give my fears power over my life.

Be aware (It is okay to be afraid). Just don’t let anything/body control your life (even fear). Take the necessary precautions to ease your worries, etc. Yet live your life. Be strong. I hope good things your way.

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