I’ve been with my bf for two yrs this Monday officially. We are long distance and he has thinga in his life that keep us from moving forward to having something more solid “irl” as we say. We had a tough much needed conversation recently and I felt better that night but as the week progresses and he is busy with work I have the growing pain in my heart. I am doubting our whole relationship wondering if what we have is really love, wondering if it is all one sided. A lot of me just wants to act like it is a crush that will never love me back because I feel he doesn’t think I am worth change. I feel if I talk to him about what I am thinking and why he will tell me to move on or get over it. I don’t know how to move forward. I see no hope. I doubt his love for me. I doubt my worth in his life. I feel like he goes about his day never thinking about me or what future we have. I feel like he only thinks of me when he has free time and he is bored. I have no idea what to do and I much less know how to talk to him about it. He is tired of me draining him emotionally.
RainLuver,
Thank you for sharing this. It must be really hard going through this and having no one to talk to about it. Doubt is something we’ve all experienced, yet it’s so individual. I was in a relationship recently were I doubted my worth and it’s an awful feeling. It’s really cliche when people say to love yourself and that you don’t need someone else. And while this is true, it’s oversimplified. People can build us up and make our lives meaningful…they can also drain us. So in your case, keep talking to your HeartSupport fam, let us listen and keep thinking it out. Everyone expresses love different so if you wanted to bring it up with your boyfriend maybe you could set some healthy expectations for each other. There’s nothing wrong with expressing what you need and what you want out of the relationship. I think his response will help bring clarity here too.
Sending love. 
️
Hey @RainLuver,
I’m also currently in a long distance relationship (I’m in Tennessee and she’s in Michigan) so I totally understand how sucky it can feel! If I may ask, does your boyfriend know how you’re feeling about the entire situation? “Communication and trust” are arguably the 2 most important things that make up a solid foundation in a relationship. Whenever my girlfriend and I hit a road bump, we make sure to Skype ASAP to get our feelings on the table and to deal with them, because the longer the negative feelings sit, the more they’ll rot. If you have already talked to him about how you feel, what does he have to say about it? A relationship is a team effort, 100/100 from both sides. Keep us updated!
-Eric
Thanks you guys, I was writing quickly at lunch so I am in a haze. I feel like I am always in a haze when I feel this low in general. I feel like we have talked about things multiple times and he ends up exhausted, frustrated and I end up okay for a time but I have no idea, I walk away and things get hazey again or he is busy with work and his “real life” then I start to remember little things that were confusing or unsettling. He’s moved on and I have no idea how to cope.
My family has no idea he is in my life, most of my friends are either unsupportive (cause they don’t fight for the relationship they only care about how I am feeling) or they don’t know the full details because I don’t trust people well and a lot of things I want to keep private.
I have no idea if things are actually okay and my mind is just torturing me. I feel like I don’t know how to talk to him and it’s been months of him being overtaken and stressed by work. When I had no job we talked everyday and his job wasn’t so overwhelmingly demanding of his time.
His family hates him talking to friends online and last year they broke his computer so there are a lot of things against us. I just cannot fight this feeling of giving up and just acting like we will never be a real couple. My saying that destroys him. He has said to me lately that the more I keep going back and forth the more he feels like he needs to end it cause I need to but cannot. I get this wicked feeling that tells me the same because he ia gone so much I never know if it’s because he constantly needs a break from me or he is just busy. It seems unfair and unhealthy to constantly ask if he loves me and misses me. I don’t know what to do.
Hey friend. I’m sorry that you’re going through this right now. I know you’re scared about how he will react, but you need to communicate how you’re feeling with him. As hard as it is to accept this - your feelings and well being is just as important as his and you can’t keep yourself in a relationship that you’re just beating yourself down about. I’m confident that you’ll make the right choice and get through it. Keep fighting those lies in your head and replacing with truths about yourself that we have all shared. Keep fighting. Keep reaching out. You’re awesome.
Kayla
Idk what truths those would be… meh
I’ve seen you here supporting on many posts. You’re a good friend.
You care.
You’re fighting.
You ARE worth life.
You are important.
You are loved.
These are just a few that I’ve taken from reading your past posts and responses.
Ty Kayla… These all feel like weaknesses. They’re things that have left me never getting help and always being alone on everything I deal with. Plenty of people to talk to but no one to actually make things easier.
You’re the only one that can work on making things easier. As much as we can be here to listen, it’s down to you to follow the advice and take the baby steps. You can do this. They’re are not weaknesses. <3
I was on mobile and thought your reply was to my car issues… Sorry, I’m at my wits end right now
Hi RainLuver…
I have felt unworthy and unloved by many past significant others and I want to tell you the only way I was able to overcome these lies about myself was by having a relationship with Jesus. God loves you SO much that he sent his one and only son to die a brutal death for you. The Bible has so much truth about who you are. You are loved and precious. You are wonderfullly and fearfully made. You don’t deserve to live in any type of bondage. You see strong. I have wasted a lot of years being in toxic relationships and feeling like there was nothing better. But let me tell you that your life is not over and you have all the freedom you want to start over. I know you might not want to hear this, but it might be best to end the relationship or at least take a break and start working on yourself - self care, mental health, seeking God. Read psalm 139 when you have a chance. God is always with you, even in your most darkest moments. And he loves you! You are his precious daughter. I am giving you a hug. Stay strong and God bless. ️ Stephanie
Isn’t is such a great compliment and so helpful when people assume your faith when you reach out for help? (Insert sarcasm font here) Maybe this is why I stopped posting here. It’s replies like this that remind me of the toxic community I left that had no real solutions, didn’t know how to listen, lacked complete empathy and were just insulting. Shoving learned advice down someone’s throat is far from helpful. I wish more “Christians” would realize that. I came on to try to reach out again and this has completely turned me off from ever writing here again. Keep your preaching to street corners with your pamphlets and track hand outs.