I’m sorry. I don’t have anywhere else to turn and just need to vent. I’m feeling so much yet so confused and alone?
My girlfriend’s birthday was a couple days ago. Everything was set, gonna be a good time. I woke up and my dog (whom is my only roommate, my best friend for years) couldn’t walk. I took him to the Vet and needed to get him to a Neurologist ASAP. So I spent $2000 and all day running my little buddy from vet to vet, trying desperately to get him to walk, or at least be comfortable. The girlfriend was understanding but she became a bit standoff-ish.
I got home late and started to get ready to make up to her the birthday she deserved, but instead I get a text “I’m going to bed. Good night.” Ok, it was 8pm, but I understand.
The next day we start to talk a bit again, albit sparsely. Then I get a call from my sister - My nephew was having trouble breathing. He couldn’t talk, he couldn’t walk. They needed help to get him to the ER. I threw down everything and got him to the ER. I stayed with my nephew a few more hours until my sister get there and he was stable.
I got in touch with my girlfriend, I needed help. Someone to listen, be there for me. I was greeted with one word replies like “Cool.” and “Sure.” This is only normal when she is mad at me. The one word replies went on for a couple of hours until I couldn’t take anymore and needed food and to help my little pupper. She messages me “What are you doing?” Well. I’m taking care of my handicapped dog and about to eat soon." The reply I get hurt me: “Are you weirdly trying to guilt me into something?”
Like what? What the hell does that mean? I know we had talked a bit about how I’d need $5000 for surgery for my dog, but I can take care of that. Was she insinuating that I was guilting her into sending money? Or what? It was the most odd and random reply. Along with the lengthiest in two days.
She just now asked why I was being down. Why I was looking to talk to someone, ANYONE.
This doesn’t even include the absolute downfall of my livestream over the past 6 months. Everything is coming apart. I feel sick.
Sorry for venting, I obviously have no where else to turn. So thank you for even letting me put this into writing.