Today after 16 years of horrible family problems I finally broke down and lost it. Just a little background informaron so you can understand how mentally unstable I Ann at the moment. When I was little my dad would get drunk and come home yelling at my mom and throwing and breaking things. I also was sexually abused by a family member when I was little for maybe two years and didn’t speak up till 3 years past. My family protected that person from the justice system and I never got any help. My dad has cheated on my mom since before I was born and she still stands up for him. My dad and I have never had a good relationship. He has never cared for me. I live in the same house as them and my and my dad have never had a actual conversation in 2 years. I have a drug addict brother who lives in a shed in our back yard yea sad i know. Today I was at my boyfriends house that’s has now become my ascape from the shit show I call home. After a late day there I call my sister to ask my mom to pick me up she says nether my mom or dad are home I text my dad because my mom was at the casino. I text my dad “mom isn’t home yet can you pick me up.” To what he reply’s “yea in what exactly.” Then me out of frustrating from his fucking sacasim i reply with “omg forget about it.” Then to get a text saying “i am on my way” for him to then call me and say I don’t have anything to pick you up in all mean while I obviously can here he’s at a party and is just being an asshole and then says it’s not my fault ur always in the street. Then he says can’t they drop u off or something so I just say yea sure and hang up. I begin to cry and I just broke down. I start to ask my self y dosnt he love me. My boyfriend this whole time is holding me and I have no ride home so I pretty much cried until my mom calls me and says she’s gonna pick me up and then proceeds to yell at me in the car. Then try’s to blame my boyfriend for y I am crying to which I get mad af and tell her it’s my stupid dad and then I tell her about the conversation and she says really that’s y ur crying and that makes me even more mad then she goes on to say that it’s not his fault blah blah blah and starts to tell me how I don’t behave and that she can’t go anywhere because we act like little kids and a bunch of bullshit then says and I don’t want u walking in with ur dumb crying face because there’s people at the house like wtf. So I go in and go cry in my grandparents room. Btw I have extreme anxiety and depression I stoped cutting 8 months ago when I got with my boyfriend and only because he has always talked me through my problems. Pretty much my family does not care about my mental health and they are ruining my happiness. What do u think ?
This is sounds so difficult friend. Sometimes the smallest thing is all it takes for years of repressed feelings to be let out. Please hold on. I know this must be really difficult for you because they are your family and people are expected to love their family. You won’t be in this situation forever. I know you feel stuck right now, but eventually you will be able to move on and make a happy life for yourself. Also, your boyfriend sounds like he is very good for you. Hold on to him.