I am trying so hard to give myself grace today but having such a hard time. I tried so hard yesterday to fight my mind. I got out of the house multiple times. I tried to reach out to a friend but I just got more frusterated because I felt like there was distance between us so I didn’t ask for what I needed. I tried to text a crisis line but my texts weren’t going through. Went for a drive. Than tried another crisis line but they had no one available. Ended up self harming again. I can’t seem to get out of the cycle I’m in and it’s starting to get worse. I know right now I’m leaning on will power and still trying to white knuckle recovery. I’m frusterated because I can’t seem to catch a break lately and I want to change but it’s hard. I know that I’m taking the right steps forward but it’s hard to not beat myself up. It’s hard to see the good when I’m struggling so much. I don’t want to let down those closest to me.
The struggle is hard my friend but we must keep fighting. Stay strong. We’ve got your back here
Don’t beat yourself up over this. Read back what you wrote, you’re trying so damn hard to pull yourself through this and actually doing something about this dark place you find yourself in. You should be looking in the mirror with pride… so many people will never know your struggle, but you carry on regardless. You’re here with us, we care for you and though I’m new here I’m proud of the efforts you’re making. Keep going, you are strong. You can do this… don’t let a slip or two make you forget how far you’ve come. Much love.
I’m so proud of you my friend. You are fighting it so hard and for that you are a very strong person. I am encouraged by you. You are doing everything in your power to fight back these thoughts in your mind. The fact that you tried to reach out to a help line and friends shows that you are okay with being open with others about your struggles.
I’m sorry you are feeling shame and that you are hurting so much right now. Be patient and kind to yourself. If you have a bad day and you relapse, that’s okay my friend. You are human, it’s going to happen. But when you have a better day, enjoy those feelings even if they are fleeting.
I believe in you! Focus on one day or even one hour at a time. These dark times will pass.
- Geoffrey
Everyone in this community is showing you love, my friend. You are not alone. Let this community be your reason to fight. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Like you said, you have tried and out effort into your well-being. That’s what matters. You will have set backs. You will relapse, but that’s okay. I know you can make it through this. Change is hard. If it wasn’t, everyone could do it and the world would be perfect. Sadly, it is not. Keep trying. You have to want it bad enough. Your time will come. Life will not put you through things you can’t handle. So think about it this way; life believes you are stronger than most. Good luck with your journey. Stand up no matter how many times you fall.