Today started off okay I woke up early worked out for 45 mins. I got in a fight with my boyfriend but we made up and things were going okay. Went to work and had an alright time there. I got home felt like I was okay. I lagged down and my boyfriend and I decided we were going to get something to eat. I put in my jeans and sweater and looked in the mirror I suddenly felt fat and gross and just awful. I then got on scale and saw that my number is higher than ever. I’m just feeling like I’m never going to be able to loose this weight. I know majority of the reason is me and my choices. I sometimes feel like if I was skinner and pretty maybe I will be happy. Maybe I won’t be so insecure but then my boyfriend cheating doesn’t help with that. He is trying to be better and I see that but the damage is already done I already struggle with depression and self hate issues and when he did that that pushed me over the edge. I don’t see this ever getting better because some days are good but one thing can set me off. I feel like sometimes I just would better happier dead at least I won’t be anyone’s butrden anymore.
Hey @Apowell,
I’m sorry you feel this way. I have weight issues myself. I know how you feel. I want to let you know that your weight doesn’t determine who you are. If someone treats you differently because of your weight then it’s not worth spending time on that person. You have a wonderful personality and that’s what matters. Not the number on the scale. You are beautiful. And your life is precious. It is worth living.
Stay strong and you will get through.
Thank you,
I don’t know why I let this determine me happiness with myself. Honestly it might stem from growing up and seeing my aunt always on diet then being on them myself at such a young age made me feel like if your Armani jiggle of thighs rub together something must be wrong with you. I know the scale is only a number and currently society is becoming slightly more accepting of bigger people. But I am in a predominantly *Caucasian” suburb and many people here are not over weight or the over weight don’t come out when I’m out. I am African American and most of the time I’m out with my boyfriend these young girls are constantly looking for attention approval I know it’s something they may bebe’s going through and also it doesn’t help that I have insecurities so I’m probably over exaggerating as well. I sometimes just feel like why come outside now that it’s summer and oh yea I’m pregnant (just found out) it’s not gonna get any better unfortunately. On a positive note since I’m pregnant I am going to try to just continue to eat bettering and stay active try to at least. Also one more positive thing I found out the day I wrote this post my scale was off so that made me happy. I’m rambling sorry. So how did you over the battle with weight and negative thoughts?
Hey @Apowell, you are incredible and amazing. You can do anything you set your mind to. Please don’t put yourself down because somewhere within yourself you know just how beautiful and amazing you are just being you. It might be hard for you to see now but to the rest of us all we see is a laser light show of awesomeness. Stay incredible my friend. Things will get better
Hey i feel u im feeling the same way… Idk what to think i feel empty inside i dont want to eat maybe i will be better or just die