I am not proud that I held on to a friendship with a habitual gossiper for a very long time. I really do try to see the good in everyone and try to be kind. She could not keep anything to herself and her indiscreet, immature antics were infuriating. She had an extreme lack of impulse control and blabbed anything to anyone, in front of anyone and did not care how private it was. As crazy as this may sound, and much as I tried to appreciate her other good qualities, I passively stopped being friends with her by stopping all contact. This was after I had consulted a therapist. I struggled with this decision, however, I knew the behavior would not change and was part of who she really is. Although this was not the best way in which to shed a toxic friendship, I tried several approaches with her one of which was to privately address the issue with her and called her out on her “loose mouthed” behavior. She gave me a lame “un-apology,” never took responsibility for any of it and did nothing to change after that. She also showed no remorse which was so infuriating for me that I felt nothing but contempt for her after that. I gradually started distancing myself from her because I refused to put anything else in her ear that was sure to come out of her mouth again and again. Lesson learned…I did what was right for me and retained my peace and sanity.
I had a friend who was very much like this. We were friends for many years. I think from around 2002 till about last year. On top of having this crazy need to gossip and have an opinion about everyone’s lives and what they were doing, she also had this need to talk about herself all of the time. For hours. But then when I tried to share anything with her it felt like she couldn’t be bothered or wasn’t interested. That or had unwanted opinions. It took time but eventually I finally just up and blocked her. I didn’t even bother telling her why. I just did it and removed/blocked her numbers. I haven’t heard from her since and I have felt so much better.
Sometimes it’s healthy to filter out some of our contacts and social media connections. For our sanity. And just keep their we trust and bring us up. People who promote a healthy relationship and healthy living. You’ll feel much better for it.
Good for you!
-Kitty