Gonna end up dead or in a psych ward by the end of April

I honestly don’t know why I’m even writing this I knew this would happen eventually I guess it’s more of menoair then a cry for help so

My girlfriends grandmother is dying and we were planning to meet this weekend but she got the news last night and I was sleep deprived at the time and I said some really horrible stuff I hurt her and I could never forgive myself now she won’t talk to me I’ve sent heartfelt apology after apology but my fate is sealed I guess it’s my fault for everything including but not limited to
Not having other friends
Not being good enough
Being a fuck up
My birth father not wanting to know me
Complaining even though I have more then most of the world
Not listening to my therapist
Not fully trusting anyone else but her
Getting hurt

You can comment and try to talk me out of it
But maybe I’ll get lucky and live
I don’t have a full plan yet but what I don’t have is any will to live because I let someone consume me and now they’re gone and I’m left with nothing

Hey @Curatio - I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time right now. Remember that you are whatever you tell yourself. Truths or lies, you’ll end up believing it. Instead of saying that you’ll end up dead or in a psych ward by the end of April, tell yourself that you’re going to BEAT this by the end of April. It’ll give you a sense of hope and something to work toward. Please stay in touch. You’re strong and we believe in you!

@Curatio

Depending on someone completely for your self-worth can really be terrible when they leave. I am very sorry this is happening to you.

You are worth more than what they think or thought of you. It is very noble of you to recognize you hurt someone you care about, and so important for both of you that you apologized. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes they are bigger than reconciliation.

This is an important time where you are in charge of determining where this goes. You either build yourself up around your mistake, learn from it and close it off, or let it consume you. Never forget, but move on. Everyone has made mistakes that have hurt others. YOU determine where you go next. Maybe that means you share your story (like you have here) as a caution and lesson to help others through a difficult time. Perhaps you speak to someone important to you, like a spiritual leader, mental health professional or close friend, and talk through some of the things you are feeling.

You can rise above this, reborn and better for it. Do not let a mistake consume you, no matter the consequences. You cannot change the past, but you can build a better future for yourself, and for the people in your life.

We see you, we value you, and we believe you can overcome anything.

Be well my friend.

Hey man, my week is has been tough too, its a shitty disease. Unfortunarley I have said fuck up shit to girls in my live and not make the pain go away. Im still working on not flipping out on girls and it big challenge. Also, I do feel like a fuck up too and im 28 year old guy live in his parents house. But you not alone and you can change, it not going happen over night. But at least keep trying no matter what. Please stay strong man!

Hey friend we posted this on our Instagram and received more love and support for you. I hope you know you are so loved here. You are more than any mistakes you have made. You are more than the way you’ve been treated

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