So this isn’t “that” bad. Just sitting here writing this while trying to remain calm. this isn’t the only day i had this anxiety attack. Yesterday during my thanksgiving i got in a car accident and when i was asked by my sister if i was okay i told her i was shaky. she told me to breath and i admit i was fine after a little while.
So, i’m technically writing because i don’t know what to do , December 12 will mark 1 year of me being clean from self harm and i don’t want to relapse (as i’m currently writing this i’m 11 months and 11 days clean). I’m stressing because i want to be better but its just i don’t want my depression to be in the way. i am afraid of the triggers that caused to recent (December 12th 2017) to happen again. But it almost did just the other day when i wanted to harm but i fought the urge to do so. How can i fight this battle if i’m afraid i may relapse that i may start back at zero. I don’t want to say that my self harm is a craving but it just lets my emotions out i guess. there’s times i don’t want to fight but i do fight . isn’t that a reason why i am still alive?
Anyways, do you guys have any suggestions for what i can do to when i have an urge of wanting to self harm or if my depression is triggered? one of the things cause the recent self harm was me being yelled at and it happened but it didn’t leave a scar. If anyone can suggestion anything to help me keep calm so i don’t harm myself again would be helpful because i REALLY don’t want to relapse but i just don’t want to be stressed to even worry i just want to feel better and not worry about this but i guess i’ll see how far i can go for now.
Thanks,
~Ashley~
What I do mainly is distract myself. Anything you like doing could be a good distraction. Music, a movie, book, coloring, a craft, etc.
When I get anxiety I need to move around. So I take a walk or remove myself from the situation. Sort of like a time out. If I get really stressed out I like taking a shower. For me my showers to relieve stress take anywhere from 30 to an hour or more.
I remember doing a group session one time it was said that if you are panicking then counting to 2 hundred can help. I know that is a lot, but if it helps why not try it?
Personally, I find simply distracting yourseld or removing yourself from the trigger is the best method so far. I know that you mentioned being yelled at. Best thing I did was to just walk away. (It might piss them off, but if you leave then they can’t yell at you. Best part is if you’re in public and they yell at you. They look bad and you can just go to a place where they don’t approve of yelling like the library. Even finding a place where an officer is at can be helpful because disturbing the peace or making too much loud noise is a thing. So if you just stand around the cop pretending to be mute then the officer might do something about the yeller.)
Another method is hugging/cuddling a pet.