This week has been really really hard for me. I don’t know why it got so hard all of a sudden. It’s really hard for me to open up to anyone I know. Like I feel like I can’t even open up to my boyfriend. So the only way I’m letting anything out is here. I don’t know what’s been going on in my head. It’s gotten so bad that I actually started to listen to the voices in my head. Twice this week I attempted to end it. I haven’t tried anything like that in a long time. I don’t want to die. I just want the pain to go away. I’m really not proud of myself…
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If you want something new to try for this and are open to “meditating” or practicing mindfulness, maybe try this free-to-install app called Headspace in the google play store. It’s not religious by any means, and it’s been helping me a lot and keeping me separate from my thoughts of suicide, and also helped me to calm down when everything feels out of control and too much. Most of its content is a paid subscription, but they still have several good sessions that are free and you can replay them any time you like. I hope this helps and just know that you’re not alone, and it’s good that you chose to reach out here 
dont give up!
-Acat347
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