I’ve said for months that I wish that things could go back to the way that they used to be, but unfortunately things will never go back.
The relationships I used to have are either gone, turned abusive, went to shit, or things just changed. The hope I had for the future slowly deterred after time. And well my heart can’t take it.
There’s people now that I love they don’t love me, despite the years of being told other wise. There’s ex boyfriends that I want back, that I wonder how they are doing but they’ve moved on and I’ve seen their lives are better off without me.
I’ve seen organizations that I used to be a part of, communities I’ve used to be a part of continue to grow despite my absence which is exactly what I wanted.
At the end of the day I needed to know that everything and everyone would go on without me and it has.
Unfortunately due to the trust broken, the relationships destroyed, the heart break of boyfriends, and the self destruction of my life isolation has seemed to be the only feasible decision.
Starting tomorrow I’ll be working 40 hours a week at my job and 40 hours a week at my internship. Plus taking two college courses over the summer. It will be best for
me, and everyone else (and even if people can’t see it as best for everyone else, I’ve seen that their lives will go on) to step away from the world for awhile. I’ll be working my life away and doing classes, and I’m tired of only ever being able to have short interactions with people and they seem to be more negative then positive.
You guys know who you are: I’ll miss you guys and love you. Y’all know how to get ahold of me. If you are still able to then there’s a reason for that. Ps I turned off discord messages unless we are friends, so if you need me add me or y’all know how to get ahold of me otherwise. Once again y’all know who you are and I love you guys.
To everyone else: I wish you guys the best in your future and in your recovery and this community. I hope you find the help that you need. And hold fast.
