Every fricken day, I hate myself more and more, I lost motivation for everything, I don’t have a reason to get up in the morning besides to watch a streamer on twitch and talk to my friendsand that’s it. My dad is verbally and emotionally abusive and I have a brother in law who has made me fear him and not like Christmas anymore. (All that drama can be found Here ). Encouraging words are nice and all but I feel like committing suicide due to everyday being awful. I only wish I could move in with an internet friend or they could save me from this life. Yes, I’m 20 with no job, no license, and no life and I’m complaining about hating life. I have practiced driving but I just feel like a nervous wreck. In times of trouble, my imagination is my only friend and I wish my best friends could help in every possible way they can but sadly they can’t.
I really relate to your situation and I kinda feel the same way. I know the feeling and I’m sorry that I don’t know how to help. It’s hard to help someone with the same problems as yourself. Have you told anyone other than your best friends about your life at home?
I told my older sister but she only said to tell another family member. I’m afraid to tell another family member due to them not believing me. All I want is happiness and a positive attitude. Sadly I don’t think I can get that.
I can understand how it’s hard to keep up a positive attitude. Is there anyone else you can tell?
Besides three aunts, my mom, her two brothers, and my moms mom, that’s it. All they would say is “if you got a job and a car, you could move out.”
If it is too much I suggest getting out of there. Even if it is for a small amount of time. I know where I live they have a program for people with mental health isseues where you feel you need time away from everyone (not the same as a mental ward). You could got to a sort of communal place for a few months.
Maybe they have something like that where you live or if you have a local church or something maybe they have a camp or charity service they be willing to have you go to to get away from your family for awhile. Give yourself time to think without the stress & fear you’ve got with your family present.
If not maybe putting your phone on airplane mode for a day or two can get you through another week.
Not sure what options you have. Hope something good comes your way.