It’s been almost 2 months since I wrote my last post. Sorry I’ve been missing and writing, but I was taking the advice of many people from this community about trying to fix a relationship that I had lost. I’ve been trying to fix 5 years with the person who I thought was the love of my life and wouldn’t hurt me. I thought that until yesterday.
We went out to have some dinner and yes there arguin, but we ended up coming to terms that we will get through this and become stronger as a couple. We were having dinner and talking about the future about our careers. In my head I know I wanted to marry this girl. After dinner we went to do some shopping. It was getting late and I dropped her off at home because she was going to work early. As I’m dropping her off she started acting weird and started looking at anothe direction. She didn’t want to kiss me. She kissed my cheek instead. Then she told me let’s go to the bank. I said yeah, as I’m driving a guy calls her name and told me “you’re dating him too”. That’s when my heart dropped. He told me that they were hooking up at hotels while she told me she was home she was him. I just don’t know why this happened to me. They were talking about future and so were we. I feel like a fool. I was just getting through a depression from her as well and now I’m back to where I was. I was just loving life again. I had stopped self harm and my drinking ways. I would think she would try to apologize but nothing I thought she would want to save 5 years but I guess not.
Why does this happen to me? Why do I always get hurt? I’m afraid to tell my parents because I look like a fool. I look like an idiot. I feel so stupid. I just want to be happy. I hate this depression. I just want to be loved. I know I’m a good guy, I know I deserve love.
I’m so so sorry Erick,
You didn’t deserve that you are such a good guy. She wasn’t worth it and it isn’t your fault in anyway, some people will never understand the effects they have on another.
I’m so proud of you for even trying to fix that relationship though, that is extremely tough and difficult thing to do and I’m so sorry it didn’t work out.
You do not look like and idiot or a fool. You believed she was the one and unfortunately sometimes we’re wrong. You were in love and that doesn’t make you stupid.
Depressjon is extremely tough but you are strong enough to overcome it, you do deserve all the love in the world and one day you will find the perfect person to give you the world. Hang in there dude!
I am here for you and I love you!
Hold fast,
Luna <3
@erick_ocampo,
That is really rotten. I am so sorry that you had to go through that, you definitely didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
Know that you are not a fool, you were in love and it was someone else’s choice to treat you terribly.
Depression is really hard, but you are strong enough to fight back! I am glad that you realize you deserve love, because you do. And as much as this probably doesn’t help in the moment, one day you are going to meet someone who loves you for all that you are and wants all that you are.
Stay Strong!
Michelle
Hi,
I’m sorry to hear about what she did. If course you don’t deserve to hurt. I’ve been in this situation, from both sides actually. I was cheated on by someone who I adored completely. He was my life wherever he was I was there with him I dreamt of moving in with him and started our life together and I was already asking him if we could start that life. But he was lying to me for months and I found out he was creating on me I was heartbroken and wanted to die. I did everything to try to forget him, even trying to move on but I kept running back. When we were finally in a good place I did something stupid and messed it up and I knew he wouldn’t want to hear from me ever again. I tried and tried because I still believe he’s the love of my life. Maybe you need to see it from both perspectives… I’ve been on both sides I’ve forgave and I’ve been forgiven. If she’s the love of your life make it happen don’t wait for her to slip away or stop trying. Go after her if you want her in your life. Forgiveness is amazing and even trying to mention what happened in the past can be so helpful. But if you need someone don’t worry, we’re always here for you.
Stay strong, you’re amazing!
@erick_ocampo dude this really hurts man. I understand this feeling of betrail. First, this is not your fault you did what you needed to do loving her and trying to work things out respecting her. Just because this happened to you doesn’t mean it is because of you. Christ, through all this suffering in my life, has taught me after the pain will come healing. Getting hurt/let down is a great teacher. It sucks but man do we learn so much from it.
Do not feel you have to rush to explain this to everyone. You should take your time so you can process this and heal. Yes, we all deserve love. I needed to remember for me personally I need the love of God and love myself before I could find love outside.
You are not just a good guy you are an amazing guy. Taking your time to fix this relationship is so amazing and truly respectful. I seriously am proud of you though for being true and honest with her.
I want you to know you have friends here that love you and will be praying for you my friend.
-Morgan Hochstetler
Team Leader of Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters Support Wall Team