Honestly, I’m just confused.
I’m not sure what I am supposed to write here today.
Should I say how tired I am of feeling so unlovable and unworthy? That I’m not sure if staying sober is worth it? That I feel so lost, alone, and empty?
Should I talk about how I keep listening to the song Self/Conclusion by The Spill Canvas? How it makes me angry because the dialogue in it sounds so familiar to me?
Am I supposed to say that I don’t want to go to church tomorrow because I’m just so tired and am not sure if it’ll be too much? Or how I don’t feel able to have a face to face conversation?
Should I tell you about how I want my friends to answer their phone so I have someone to talk to?
Or am I supposed to say I’m okay and force a smile for a split second?
The only thing I know is that I am tired of feeling all this.
I know that if I close my eyes to sleep now, I won’t like what I see in my dreams…
Hey Fiji, I don’t know you IRL but I can say you seem to have a beautiful mind and soul no matter how down or stressed or tired you feel. You are an amazing person. You have to take everyday as it comes and make good choices for yourself. If it feels to much to go to church then don’t go. Remember you are loved you are worthy you are STRONG!! Not all of us stay sober all the time sometimes you just need something to help relax. And you are most certainly not lost but perhaps just wandering, and that’s not bad. Because wandering leads to adventures, and adventures you don’t see coming are some of the greatest stories and memories you’ll ever have. Keep your head up my friend. Try listening to ( its alright, by mother mother ) it helps pick me up when I get low. Please don’t hesitate to msg me if you need to talk.