I don’t even know

So this is gonna be kinda stupid and all over the place but here goes nothing I’m a senior in high school I have 24 days of school left until graduation I’m super excited and nervous because I changed schools in November and the things that weren’t required at my old school are required at my new school so I’m taking credit recovery along with my regular classes and some online classes as well I’m kinda behind in my math class I’ve always been bad at math I’ve always barely been able to keep my head above water in math so the way I do my online work is I have the physical class that I go to and after school I’m doing the first half of the class that I missed because I wasn’t there online this is were the problem comes in when I get home to do the work I’m lost and confused about what to do it’s like I have all the work but I need help I genuinely don’t know how to do it …every one in my house is younger than me and can’t help me with my work my aunt doesn’t know how to do it either I’m just stuck and this is really stressing me out . I start feeling stupid and just anxious about graduation and having all my credits together. The other night I was up thinking about it and tears started rolling down my face I don’t want to be a failure…i get sick just thinking about it . I had a meltdown today at school I was just looking at my paper and crying because I didn’t know how to do the work and when the bell rang I just turned in the paper with my name on it everyone was asking me what was wrong and i was like idk …because I’m many ways I don’t know what’s wrong with me why can’t I do simple math …

When I was in school- even now in college- whenever it comes to math I’m like this. I feel what you are going through.

I remember sitting in my 10th grad pre calc class- taking a test. I forgot what to do, so I cried and turned in my paper. All my life when it’s come to math I’ve cried. And that’s okay. It’s okay to cry and to find it hard.

I’m going on my 3rd semester in college and I still am not the best at basic math- I can barely use a ruler because all my life I’ve just never understood it. Sometimes I feel so stupid- but the truth is- we aren’t stupid.

What are some things you enjoy? Some things you are good at? Think about it. Just because you struggle with one thing does not make you stupid. It’s okay to not be good at something.

Some people aren’t good at drawing- but give it your best, and be proud of it. Be proud of what you’ve made, even if it doesn’t look how you want it to. That’s just like math- I wish I would have asked for more help in high school- but I didn’t. Even in college I’m struggling to ask for help.

There are tutors, and teachers, and classmates that can help you. It takes time, and you may still get upset but that’s totally okay. You just need to take a break- watch a tv show or listen to some music, draw, write your feelings. Just take some time away; I wish I would have done that more.

I believe in you.

If it’s hard to ask for help, come to us. Well encourage you, well support you, well do our best to try and get you to a point where you feel comfortable asking a teacher or someone for help.

I believe in you. You are not stupid.

You are smart. You are amazing. You are worth it.

Keep us updated. Talk to you soon. Hold fast.

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if you keep persevering, you have not been a failure.
If you keep going, even when you can’t do math,
and even when people look down upon you, then you’re not a failure.
If you are still keeping yourself here,
even through tears, and being unable to do things,
and through stress, you are not a failure.
People are never failures until they let themselves and everybody else down.
You haven’t done that.