It’s pretty interesting to see that people are two faced whenever I talk about wanting to self harm or commit suicide Ever since I was in 5th grade, I had to deal with people constantly bullying me or use me. I’m diagnosed with MDD, DID and OHI. People around me think that I’m just faking it, wanting to get attention. Now I’m a senior in high school, ready to graduate but now, I just give up, same thing keeps happening, got dumped and humiliated for self harming and overdosing. I’m failing classes. Maybe living isn’t the best thing for me anymore. I’m just done. Fuck graduating and fuck everything else. I tried therapy, hospitalization, and shit never works. So what else is there? I’ts not like people in my life cared for me anyway, only people online, even if it’s people I barely know. I don’t know anymore, just what am I supposed to do know? I’ve already lost all my close friends cause of my cuts. I’m empty…
There is never one single answer for what we need to do to better ourselves. Especially when you have to deal with depression and disassociation. You are under a lot of stress right now and you have to find out what triggers things to get worse. It is a constant battle of learning about yourself and the things that make your symptoms worse. Dealing with mental health issues is the same as any other illness or even allergies, you need to limit your exposure to what causes the reaction. You also need to learn what things make you feel better in the long run, self harm is a temporary bandaid because it causes a spike in the good brain chemicals. You need to find a better way to release those chemicals. Some people find that adderall helps, but I would talk to a doctor first. My brain produces the chemicals but doesn’t utilize them so I am on wellbutrin. I take rhodiola rosea to help with my anxiety and disassociation. You just have to find what works for you. Eating healthy and exercising are always a good foundation, stretching and yoga help too. You just have to take that first step outside your comfort zone to do what’s right for you and help you.
Luciela,
I’m so sorry that it feels like life lately has just been one long series of rejection after rejection…sucks so hard, man…espeically when it feels like it happens when you need people the most, when you’re most vulnerable, when you’re most afraid of being judged…it feels like you get cut at the deepest level by others who leave you when you need them. I’m so sorry, friend. It can feel like there’s nothing for you, but there’s so many people who love you and want to support you. This community is one of those places. I know it feels like you won’t have strength to make it to the end of high school, but you actually HAVE that strength. I know it because I know what it’s like to be rejected by everyone and not know what keeps you moving forward…it’s almost like your feet just keep moving even though your mind and body are screaming to just give up…I was there when I lost every single one of my friends in school too. I was completely alone and know what it’s like to feel worthless…but it’s not the truth, luciela, and it’s not the way that things are going to end up for you. You matter. You matter to me, you matter to us, and things ARE going to get better. You can do this friend, and we can help. (Lol, I sound like home depot xD but I’m super serious – you really can, and we want to help you kick ass, because I believe you can)
Love you friend. I feel your pain. I feel your heart. You are beautiful, you do matter, you DO have hope. Things will get better. Don’t go it alone. Keep coming back.
-nate
Hey. I can’t fully relate to everything that you go through, but I just wanted to let you know that your struggles don’t define you. Your identity is not in these issues. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful sense of perseverance. Things may seem overwhelming right now. I too didn’t think I would graduate high school because of some mental health issues, but I did it!! You can too!! It may seem impossible, but you have it inside of you to make it and do whatever you put your mind to. Never stop seeking for people who understand you and can help. There are people out there that can help you. Don’t give up. You will be so much stronger when you get on the other side of this. It hurts now, but keep going. You are loved. You are wanted. Keep going, You got this.
@Luciela I say the thing that you should give up is not your life or your future. You should give up the perspective that all your misery will go away.
You already have proven you have patience and endurance. Tolerate it and learn to relieve some of it since all of it won’t go away.
Learn to accept yourself (How can others accept you if you don’t even accept yourself?)
You are a strong person that has a lot of potential. Don’t let it go to waste just because misery has a hold of you. Fuck misery. Persevere. I am hoping the best for you.