I don't think anyone can stop me

I really wanna do it, I wanna die. Idk what to do.I feel like the world is watching, and I’ve failed it. Everyone I know is pissed with me, and I don’t know why. I’ve tried to help so many, and it all just comes back to haunt me. I talked with one person about my past, and now I’m treated like a piece of thin glass. I don’t like this feeling, I really wanna do it. I’ll be home alone this weekend, and I’ll have time to do it. I’m mot scaered, but I want to. If I do it, no one will miss me, I’ll be free of my mind, I’ll be free of the voices, I’ll be free from the abuse, I’ll be free of the bullies, I’ll be away from the rapists, I won’t be used anymore, I’ll be able to be me, I’ll be with the people that do care about me, I’ll be with people I look up to, I’ll be fine. I could even be happy again. No more anything…

@Littlebitch666,

I can only imagine the pain, anger, and restlessness you must feel. As I read your words typed on this page, It breaks my heart to read the extent of what you have endured and continue to endure.

I want you to know that no matter what is transpiring in your life and the little trust you have in others right now, you can know that you have that here in this community. This community is based on those who are walking through this tough and challenging road called life. I am grateful that in this community that no one has, “it all together” but says I don’t but I know that these humans are my community and genuinely care for me and my life. What the world needs is you and for you to be fully alive. Alive in knowing you have value and truth. Alive in knowing you are loved, and alive in knowing that you matter. We are here for you and will walk alongside you in this thing called, life. Hold fast and stay strong. You are a precious individual that has so much life to give us and more importantly new life to move forward with living fully alive!

-L

Thanks, but I don’t think I can do it, I’ve had to endure this for 14 years, and can’t escape it. But thank you for giving me a little sliver of hope

@Littlebitch666,

It has to be so hard to endure this for 14 years. I want you to know that what you have gone through over the course of this time is nothing you deserved and nothing you caused to make this ok.

I want you to know that hope starts today! Hope for a future built on what you can create for yourself. Not built on what you have endured for so long and what others have done towards you. You are worth so much and have so much life to give. I know it! You don’t owe it to anyone but yourself and we need you, trust me! Hold fast.

-L

My heart hurts for you. I know what it feels like to just want to escape the pain. I know it doesn’t feel like it but there is light coming. You have a purpose here, and I can tell you are trying to help others even though you are in so much pain and that is so . inspiring. This community is here for you, and I would love to chat with you on Discord if you want a friend. Please please don’t leave us, we need you here. Hold on. We love love love you.

You need to calm down. Observe your situation more. What is telling you that everyone is pissed at you? How is everyone treating you differently? What do you mean that you helped so many and How is it coming back to haunt you? I understand that you’re suffering and are overwhelmed. What makes you think that suicide will stop the voices or the pain? Aren’t you away from the rapists or bullies right now? Also are you still being used? What makes you believe there is no more anything?

Everyone keeps telling me that I’m not good enough for anything. I’m not away for them, and legally can’t be. I have to see the everyother weekend, and no one believes anything I say. Every time I help someone, they always make me look bad for the stuff I do, and when I need help (like now) they don’t care

Are you talking about family? Because Family do have a tendency to stick up for each other even if they’re not sure if they’re right or not. If it is family then don’t speak to family. Same thing with friends especially if it is friends that know each other. What you need is a third party. You should tell a teacher (if you’re a student). If you’re an adult or even if you’re not, do you have a therapist or councilor. If you do then you should speak up to them about your situation. Usually and in most respects the therapist or Councilor are there on your behalf.

I cant, im not allower to speak to anyone about it. The person that is doing this is a textbook sociopath. I cant get away from them because they are really good at lieing and getting away with it because I’m a minor and they’re an adult

Have you talk to other adults. Don’t think that their lying won’t catch up to them. You just keep telling the truth and calling out for help. Sooner or later it will be revealed. IF the person tthat you’re talking about is lying continually then that is even more reason to speak up. Lies collect like dust and they’ll lie so much that their lies will be revealed as lies.

It is like you’re in a boxing match. You just gotta keep punching until they get so encumbered by the punches they can’t see anything. If you don’t quit and they keep lying sooner or later they’ll be caught lying and something will be done about it.

I think i have some kind of understanding about what ur going through, and i fully digress. My stepmother is a full on narcissist, and i’ve lived with her for 8 years, telling me that all of the problems in our house stem from me. Recently i went to my dean and guidance counselor (i’m 16 in, school) and they called ACS because it was so bad. Somehow, it came out misconstrued and now im the one whos ‘crazy’ and ‘needs to be medicated’. So i feel for you, and i know that what ur going through sucks. I think that there is something out there that makes life worth living, tho. The best thing that you can do to get back at this person causing you so much pain is to make it through and then be successful in life. There’s nothing that gets at someone like that more than for you to be an accomplished person. You will be able to leave this behind, and you’ve lived with it for 14 years. It seems like eternity is stretched before you, but the rest of the time will go by, especially with people beside you. Keep posting, keep asking for help when you need it. there is always someone out there for you. Please dont give up.

You haven’t failed yet, as this struggle is not the end. I ask you to look at tomorrow, you having failed means that day doesn’t really exist, but it does. Every day is a new opportunity to do what you want to do with. That person who you shared your story with treating you like glass can be taken in two ways. He might not know how to handle your situation and might be scared to do something wrong, or he might be pushing you down in a way because he doesn’t think you can handle stuff. Neither of them being very helpful. You’re cared about by me and so many more of us , so I hope you’re still here after the weekend. You might be free from the bad, but you won’t have the choice to do anything anymore. There is still a path to happiness for you to choose and I’d help you find that. I’d need you to open up again tho

Life is so much more than this. You are loved