im 15 years old and my mom just recently passed away, my dad left us when i was young. I joined the community once before when my brother died in a car crash, but took a break until now. I’m currently an orphan and i feel really lonely at the moment, i also think im better of not living. im gonna live with my grandmother(on my dad’s side) soon. i’ve only seen her ones. we gonna meet in a few days but i dont know how to start things off with her.
i dont know if i have to tell her what i fell, also i dont know if she knows the bad relationship with my dad.
Even though this possibility of having someone to care for me is there, I’m struggling to deal with the thoughts of not wanting to live.
These thoughts have been resulting in night terrors and I want to know how others cope with these thoughts, especially when it becomes overwhelming and feel alone and ideas on how to deal with night terrors… This was really difficult for me to write about, so any suggestions would be appreciated.
Hey friend! I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with so much loss, especially at only 15. I’m proud of you for reaching out and posting on the wall - I know how hard it can be to do so.
I’m glad that you have someone who you can talk to and connect with in your grandmother and that the option to live with her is there. It might be helpful if she is aware of the relationship between you and your dad if she sees him often, but if its going to cause friction, it might be best to leave it for now until things have settled… The same situation with letting her in on how you feel. If you feel like you are ready to tell her how you’ve been feeling then do so. She might be able to recommend you to a doctor/therapist/professional who can help you out.
I deal with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis at the moment, and the only thing that gets me through them is reaching out to the people I trust and having them call me out on the lies that I’m believing. The other thing that really helps (when I remember to use them) is the Truth audios on the HeartSupport phone app. They are only a few minutes long and recorded by the HS staff… I think that in the moments you feel alone, or lost with your thoughts, they could really help and encourage you… Find something you enjoy that distracts you, gaming, music or films, it can be anything… If you need that little bit more, then think about something you love/want and remember that by being alive, you’re allowing yourself to have those things.
You’re never alone, there are so many people here that want to help you. Hop into streams, get involved with the discord and talk to people. When you form yourself a small support system, things will get easier.
Glad to see you back here and I am proud of you for posting. I am deeply sorry for the losses you have had and the struggles you face.
Life gets really hard sometimes and sometimes it feels like it won’t fet better, but that’s not true. If you were to end your life things would not be resolved- the pain would pass to other people.
You were put on this earth for a reason and you deserve to live. You deserve to be happy. You are loved because you have breath in your lungs.
Stay strong, hold on, we believe in you. We are here no matter what.