Hi, I don’t know how to start this but I am a girl that struggles with selfharm and suicidal thoughts. In April I started to like this punk boy, soon I developed a HUGE crush on him. I told my friend yesterday and she said I have to tell him. Today I ran into him on my way back from school, we talked and he gave a cig which I’m happy for. A few hours ago she sent me a screenshot of her and his chat, she texted him about me liking him. He said that he doesn’t want to date me, that he doesn’t like a physical appearance but he likes my personality and that he likes me as a friend. But it still hurt me really bad. I still like him, but I feel like shit now… I am 6kg overweight and I think that’s one of the reasons he doesn’t like the way I look. I didn’t eat dinner today and I’m not planning on eating breakfast tomorrow. The only thing I want to is for him to like me a little more. If he only new that I relapsed tonight because of this. I’m sorry everyone.
@screamo.princess hey friend - you started this just fine! I’m sorry that you’re struggling so much right now, I know how hard rejection is to handle, we all do. Please don’t skip meals because of this - if you REALLY want to work on losing some weight, please do it in a healthy way. I got into a habit of skipping meals on top of my self harm, so I know it’s freaking difficult, but it’s not worth it. The guy would not want to be your friend if your weight was an issue to him - he may just be into a particular female look and that’s completely okay.
Thank you for reaching out - you sound like you have an amazing friend, lean on her and let her help you.
Hold Fast
Kayla
Hello. How are you? Thank you for sharing your story. I’m not a girl, and I cannot relate to your weight problems or self-harm, however, I do relate rejection. I had crushes on girls during my school years. From middle school to college. I was afraid of getting rejected if I tell them of how I feel. I still struggle with it. The first time I asked a girl out on date is when I was 22, the girl I had a crush on said she is seeing someone (her boyfriend), and I was fine. You can say this is not rejection, and I will be fine. We have different perspectives. Whether it is rejection or not, I’m glad I took a risk instead of never knowing if she said yes or no. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s natural. You will overcome your fears. You just need to take it one at a time. I believe in you. Thank you for reading this, and I hope you are having a great night. God bless. Stay strong.
What’s up @screamo.princess,
How are you doing today? Just to start out with it takes guts to come here and speak out so that’s awesome. Secondly it takes even more guts to speak to someone about your feelings especially if you like them so you have to give yourself some props!. So I know this feeling the sinking that you feel and the self judgement that you cast upon yourself when this happens along with the constant evaluation of why doesn’t this person like me, what can I do to change myself, how can I get them to like me. The truth is you can’t get people to like you for the same reason that love options don’t work and one of the wishes we can’t have is for someone to fall in love with you.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t change yourself but it has to be for you, you say that you are 6kg overweight but in who’s eyes? I know from personal experience and from being a fitness instructor that alot of people rely on BMI charts and social media way to much to actually know what is overweight and unfit. Please don’t starve yourself I can tell you right now you wont see any long term benefits from doing so at all and I can guarantee you will feel worse being drained from having no energy from food. Feel free to reach out to us you got this!
Power to you
Ok firstly unrequited hurts. Love is hard. It sucks he doesn’t like your outward appearance. But you outward isn’t the most important thing. Its your inward. If he can’t accept you for what you are. Than does he really deserve you.
It will hurt but you’ll find a guy who loves you for you unconditionally.
Hold fast