Today I had a great day at work. Was screaming songs in my car and was just happy.
Then I get home and my dad is annoyed.
Since my dad got sick I wished that my parents would just get a divorce because at times my dad is so bad.
I hate having to listen to him slam doors and yell and be mad. I hate him threatening to hit our family dog when she doesn’t get out of the way or when she barks.
I absolutely fucking hate it.
It makes me hate myself.
When this happens I hide if I can. I sit and wait for it to be over.
So now I’m sitting in the corner of my room, crying, trying not to self harm.
I can kind of relate as my dad gets upset pretty easily, but he’s still the closest person to me and I love him unconditionally. As we are speaking, in fact, he’s kinda annoying me lol. I was practicing screaming in the car today too.
I’m in his house for the summer till I move to a new apt and finish school, but since i first moved out at 18 I’ve just had less f***s to give and usually ignoring him or just being normal works. Less stressful on me to not get mad back. Hope it’s a possibility for you too. Talking people down is a great technique in general, too. We use it as police officers; they raise their voice, we talk calmly and usually calms them down too.
Oh, Lyss. I’m so sorry.
I love you so much friend and I hate that you always have to be thrown into these maddening situations. I know things have been really rough lately. I’m sending you the biggest hug right now.
I hope the situation passed quickly and you are getting some rest now. As it’s very late.