I know that my boyfriend loves me so incredibly much because i talk to him when i get insecure. He has made me love myself so much more but i feel i dont deserve him. I have done a lot of things i regret in the past. Both of us have been abused in the past which has made us very aware and respectful of eachothers boundaries. Ive been strating to relapse with anorexia again and he kind of knows but doesnt at the same time. Im not really sure how to tell him. I feel like he will leave when i know he wont.
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Sometimes the thoughts in our minds don’t line up with the truth. You said you don’t feel like you deserve your boyfriend. However, you also said even though you feel like he’ll leave you if he knows about your struggle with anorexia, you know he won’t. I am proud of you for seeing the truth even when you feel otherwise. That is a huge thing!
Keep focusing on what you know is true. If you keep focusing on what you know is true, even when your feelings and thoughts are pounding you with lies, this will be way more beneficial to you than fixating on the lies. Eventually, you may even find that you start to believe the truth!
We all deal with different situations where our thoughts/feelings seem bigger than what we know is true. You aren’t alone in this. It’s a universal thing. Take heart in that.
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It sounds like your other half is a wonderful person. I’m so glad that you have him. I don’t think talking to him about this trusting to change anything. He can help you the way he has been. He loves you. You love him. That’s all that matters. It’s going to be hard but it’s so much harder to fight it alone. You can don’t this.
Hold fast
Kayla
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Hey @Ohilikeskittles,
Your boyfriend sounds like a great dude! If he truly loves you (which I’m sure he does), then he won’t leave you, no matter what. He’ll come alongside you and fight your battles with you. I feel the same way with my girlfriend sometimes - that I don’t deserve someone as incredible as her, and she has reassured me, time and time again, of her love for me, and I believe her. If you want to bring up your anorexia with your boyfriend, you can wait for the right time, or you can simply ask him, “Can we talk about something real quick?” - then lead into whatever you want to talk to him about.
In the meantime, if you’re relapsing with anorexia because you’re not happy with the way you look, remember that beauty is subjective. In other words, just because you might not find yourself to be stunning doesn’t mean that crowds of other people WILL find you gorgeous. You are beautiful just the way you are.
-Eric
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It’s great to hear that your boyfriend is a good support system for you. It’s hard to tell someone about issues you may be dealing with, or a relapse that might be occurring, but it sounds like he’s someone who will help you through it. Just be honest with him about your struggle, talk about ways that you can help prevent a relapse, or ways to overcome it. If you’re struggling, your significant other should be made aware of the situation, so that they can help take care of you too.
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A big challenge in this relationship for me if to be up front and honest about my issues because i am so used to hiding them. I feel as if I’m a bother when i do but i am getting better
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@Ohilikeskittles first Hi and sorry you are struggling with all of this. I know I dont know much of your story but I still want to say how proud I am of you for opening up to this stuff. Truly anyone of those things would be hard to talk about and you touched on quite a few things. Fi
So I want to pull this specific quote you said. I know it seems hard and that you are unsure how to tell him but let me say that the way your simply told us is a great way to tell him. It might seem like he knows but truly unless you outright tell him that makes it harder to say if he does or doesnt know. I also want to state that if you are at all like me in some relationships I try to be as open as I can and this relationship to me sounds like that kind of relationship. So I want to encourage you to highly consider being open about this. I know it is scary and it seems like it will not do well but deep down I believe it will strength the relationship that you currently have. Fight for this relationship and unless you put all the cards on the table that you desire you arent fully playing the game. And also you said you know he wont leave you so than where is the truth in that fear. Defeating the lies we hear in our heads are sometimes really important. So fight these thoughts and find a good time to talk to him about this. If perhaps writing it in a note that he reads while you sit there would help you some consider that. I have done that before. It is still hard but it might be better on you than just out write speaking the words of hey ___ I am struggling with my anorexia again and I really want you to be aware of it. Just a simple note explaining what is going on could and will likely do a lot of help.
I hope this helps some and know we are always here for you.
Hold fast
Ash
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I just want to say all these messages have made be cry because of how thoughtful they are and helpful. I really like the idea of writing a note to him.
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Talk to him. He sounds like a great guy. If he loves you as much as you love him, he won’t leave you.
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