I reached a point where I doubt my happiness. I am generally doing good lately, and the downs are okay to handle mostly.
But I started to question if I ever was really happy or if I just make myself believe it’s what I should feel.
I’m not sure if I’m okay and I’m not sure if I need to be worried about where I’m at and what I would do.
I’m scared that if someone would offer me my old life back that I would take it without even blinking.
3 Likes
I have been there too, so take heart that you are not the only one that feels this way when you are working on yourself/your life.
It may seem hard but trust yourself. If you have been able to get yourself here to a point where by in large you feel good and have been able to handle your downs well then you are truly doing well!
There will always be what ifs and thoughts about your old life (often it seems easier). I find that reminding myself about the negative of my old life (and not seeing it as being easier, more fun etc as I often do when I am feeling similar to how you are) helps me loads. Take it all one day at a time, being offered your old life by someone may be something that never come/occurs. So breathe and admire how far you have come. Should something happen one day, but I believe you can do it and push though, but things happen so should it happen, remember that a fall is not fatal it’s another opportunity to rise again and try again.
You are amazing and wonderful. We (this community) are always here for you no matter what.
Stay strong!
2 Likes
It’s okay you don’t know how you feel right now. It takes time to understand of who you are. You will go through this. Don’t give up. I believe in you.
1 Like
I’m pretty sure this is something everyone has felt. This might sound weird but if you are happy and in a positive space in my (weird and minimal) experience the reality of feeling that happiness doesn’t matter as much as feeling happy. Questioning your emotions and purpose are symptoms of being human.
It’s a difficult place to be and we are here for you!
2 Likes
@fiji ,
i feel like i relate to this post, especially how im feeling , i raise two rabbits and i stress over my youngest bunny on how he is , i feel like am i a good bunny mom? am i a good daughter? and these feelings i have make me feel like im trying to get out of this feeling like a failure when i feel like i am. you’re not alone in this feeling.
Just know your not the only one whos struggling, some of us have been through this and we will be there.
-ashley
2 Likes
I know that I’m afraid to be happy sometimes. When everything seems like it’s going good something always blows it away. So when things go good I’m afraid that something will take that away. I don’t know how to shake that fear.
2 Likes
I completely understand this. I have had many times where I felt “happy” but wasn’t sure if it was true happiness, or if it was something I was fabricating for the sake of myself and others. For me, it has taken a lot to accept happiness within myself when it’s been absent for so long. It has taken a lot of practice, but you deserve happiness, whether that’s a small amount or a large amount. You will get through this 
️
1 Like
man I can relate to this very well. I would say the same thing If i could go back and relive some stuff i would to but I am hear because of the things I have been through they have taught me a ton. I can relate to this and feel you. Love you
2 Likes
Video Response:
3 Likes
@Casers
Thank you!
That was really encouraging. I try to give myself more grace, but it’s hard when I only see the things I do wrong… but I’m working on it.
1 Like
Fiji,
I can understand this feeling. This is definitely something I have found myself thinking about and going through multiple times in my life. Especially when things are heavily stressful. Even in happiness, things can still be stressful and difficult. And even if you are happy, doesn’t mean you can’t go through depression. It is entirely possible and it happens to the best of us.The happiest of people can have moments of feeling like they are not okay. And THAT IS OKAY. (:
I can also understand feeling like you are supposed to feel a certain way and like it’s just expected of you. That can be really straining on our mental health.
Don’t be afraid to take the steps you need to feel better and work on your mental health. Whether it’s seeing a therapist, blogging, writing or even reaching out here.
Try to find things that you find enjoyment in. What are your passions? Do you like art? Reading? Writing? Are there activities that you enjoy doing outside of your home? Latch onto the things that make you feel good and happy, even if its only temporary. Surrounding ourselves and keeping ourselves busy with the things that make us feel good in the long run will serve us well.
But don’t feel bad if you have moments where you don’t feel okay. You are allowed to feel that way. Just remember to be gentle with yourself and try to find ways to recover from it.
We are here to support you along the way. <3
-Kitty
2 Likes