You’re not crazy if you feel like you want to die. If you landed here from Google, I want you to know you’re not alone, and there is hope. If you’re in immediate danger, go to our Crisis Resources page. Otherwise, you can also take this self-assessment to find next steps:
Battling depression thoughts of losing my mind taking acid because ending my life is even more painful to think about. I’ve tried everything nothing satisfies. You know what fuck it what about this religious thing? What does everyone else have figured out? Being brought to my knees because of life struggles painful memories of beatings and screaming, scarred when being taken into a pastors home from a broken home calling me son, saying he loves me but after 3 and a half years abandons me fuck you! There’s no love, what is religion used for moral reasons? Too many fake ass people. And it pisses me off. Yeah believers of the Way Christians are scum putting on this mask around people but behind closed fucking door their just filthy corrupted animals. You go out to share the Gospel and you’re fake as fuck🖕🏼
I want to die, I want to fucking die. I’m tired of being alone, I don’t know what is real anymore. Drink til I’m drunk, smoke til I’m high puking my fucking brains out. FUCK FUCK FUCK. When will anything get fucking betta no nothing will because heaven and hell is the only thing that is refraining me from fucking killing myself! I just want peace. Just a day to stop crying to stop hurting myself, it is best for a man to never be alone. There hasn’t been peace since I could remember. There’s no reason to keep living, all the drugs, being in relationships, enjoying life to the fullest, fuck fame fuck fortune, nothing can ever satisfy. I just want something fucking real! For once in my damn life. You wanna convince me about this God of yours, be my fucking guest, You want to give me knowledge be my fucking guest because if this doesn’t work, I’m fucking done
Hey, I know you’re angry and hurt. And I don’t have a solution to make everything better. Just know that we’re here. There’s more to life than all that Christian stuff, you can move on and live without it and away from it. Please hold on.
You say you want something real, but drinking and smoking till you’re high, that’s not real. It’s just a mask of your feelings.
I’m really sorry friend. We are real here. Post whenever you want, and hold fast
Also, I recommend to listen to the band Falling In Reverse
Hey dude, I dont have all the answers either, and I agree with you on religion and Christianity. I am,a Christian, and I have been able to experience God for who he really is and not the way he is portrayed by those wearing a mask. Hes different then them. God is the kind of,guy you cant always judge by those who supposedly represent him, because not everyone is a Christian for God himself, but to cover up lies and evil. And imperfect people dont always represent a perfect God the way it was intended to,be. Ive seen more of that then I would like to, and was raised by a man who claimed God but abused me,behind closed doors. I am,not sure how to word things so sorry if its weird or confusing, I would love to clear up anything you wonder about. The most I can say is try to,experience God for yourself and not from others. His actions and who he is, from the experienced Ive been able,to have, is vastly different. You gotta look away from people and learn about him directly. Thats where I was able to realize he isnt the evil that hides behind a mask, but pure and genuine. I’m sure its hard to seperate him from the people, (I still struggle to seperate him from,my,dad, but they are different, and God is kind). If you want to, you can message me,any time! Ive struggled with God and life like you have too and would,love,to,offer support. I,hope this helps. I dont want you to suffer, breaks,my,heart. I wish I could,take your pain away.
Hey there friend,
i’m so so sorry that someone or more who are supposed to be “loving” and “kind” have hurt. I just want you to know that is not an accuarate representation of who God is. People aren’t perfect, we make mistakes. You’re right, there are a lot of Christians out there who put on a mask for whatever reason and it sucks. I’m so sorry they hurt you.
God is so much more tho. He understands your pain in a way unlike people can. And thats a beautiful thing if you really think about it.
Thought i share this video from heart support. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rZU-B1jPIY
Also, Jake Luhrs wrote this devotional that i thought maybe you should look into. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999154532/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_ep_dp_T80vBb0VXHVXW?pldnSite=1 Stay strong friend, you are loved.
praying for you. <3
Hi Fisher… You doing ok?
Just googling loneliness, and your post came up. I signed up just to respond to you and check in.
I deal with loneliness so often… Can’t seem to make a relationship work… Find people that I love, only to point out my faults. I know I have them, but wow. I get it.
Grew up Methodist, now more Buddhist or Humanitarian… Lots of meditation and just learning that I’m ok. Still sucks when I find myself going to bed alone, or hanging out with married friends.
Just felt the need to reach out and tell you, there’s more to life than what society encourages us to embrace. I’m preaching to myself here as well. Would give you a hug and have a beer with you if I could. A few laughs (because I’m pretty damn funny), share some great life memories… And say we are all on this planet for a purpose. Each on our own trek, and forget about others’ judgements and opinions. Hope you are ok. Sending you some white light, and a whole bunch of love. Lori
Fisher, i completely understand where you are coming from. I’m in a position where I stare at my pistol Everyday… I too am fed up with the trite offerings of the “holy rollers” who seem to always have some scriptural answer. I would truly like to see how they would react in my position… I’m 55, not bad looking, and despite having been injured in the line of duty I’m in better shape than most. I was married twice. The first time only because she was pregnant. Two Courts in my state gave me Sole Custody. My daughter was snatched from daycare by her mother and grandmother. Thus began a 15 month and $45k hunt and chase across this fucking country into five states that refused to honor my court order. Last time I saw my daughter was 2001. She was raised to hate me. My second wife had mommy issues and hooked up with some lesbo bitch who told her it was okay to cheat. She left me and had me falsely arrested for domestic violence. I was cleared, but it broke my bank. I “live” on $900 a month. I drive a 2005 Chevy. I’m not an asshole and I treat people a hellovalot better than the way I’ve been treated. I’m Catholic and it’s the Catholics who have treated me like garbage all my life. And that includes the priests. I struggle with my faith (what’s left of it) daily. I cry to God, I curse God…no matter what I do he ignores me. I’m not able to find love for God. I don’t even have any hope for happiness in heaven. Im a decent guy. I’m a veteran and several times decorated for my service. I’m at the point where I just wish I’d die in my sleep! And if I was lucky enough for that to happen, no one would notice for quite a while (I’d be in a state of decomposition by the time anyone would). And then there’s no living person who would shed a fucking tear. Who would be at my funeral? The people who are employees of the funeral home and cemetery. My family? All Dead. My true friends? All Dead. My estranged daughter? Hates my guts. I’m not perfect. I’m not God’s gift to anyone. But there’s worse than me out there. I guess it’s true for people like us… Life sucks then you die!
I know how you feel my guy. My mom and Grandma are the exact same way and its all fake and stupid. I know its a cheesy thing to say and coming from a 15 year old don’t mean shit but it’ll get better eventually. Hang in there and I try to be a friend to all.
Hi friend. Im so sorry you going through what you’re going through. I dont have much words of wisdom…alot has been said already i know it must have helped. Just wanna tell you i know how you feel, it sucks, its lonely, it hurts really bad. i dont know if it gets any better…but for what it might be worth to you, I love you brother, and though i dont know you, know that im with you, i hope that we make it to the other side of all this. Please be strong
I feel you, I can relate more than you know. I feel like we have the same mindset like 75% of the way…I grew up religious,…like fullon knock on doors n preach shit no nothing satisfying or really happy growing up, wishing my parents would divorce but bible said It was a sin so they stayed miserable and kept all us kids miserable too…i ran away at 16 w someone I thought loved me as much as I loved them n ended up putting myself in my current shitty situation, in a relationship for 10 years w a kid(not my birth son, she cheated on me)yes imma girl as well(forgive my Grammer I’m buzzing hard) I love my son w my whole heart but nothing I do makes n e body happy, n blah blah blah…n e ways I got of point…I feel u. Just keep ur head up and I’ll try too…some of us gotta stick together somehow…maybe a friend will help? Shit idk. Idk shit. I wanna die too…glasses raised, n i hope we make out ok… Maybe with time buddy…who knows…cheers.
