I’d give anything to kill myself right now. I hate this life.
Not a day goes by where I enjoy myself or anything in this life. I always wish for death every day. I feel like my life is a cosmic joke.
I’ve tried multiple times to die and I’m still here. If I could give my remaining days to someone else, I would. I don’t matter and never have.
I have no reason for being here.
You have a reason to be here, you have a purpose. There’s a reason why you’re still here despite attempts to kill yourself. You may not know what that reason is now but one day you will. Everything happens for a reason, you just have to stay strong. I love you and you can talk to me at anytime.
I went through a similar experience if not the same as you. I sometimes still do feel it at times. It is hard to see it but there is a reason for being here. You have to look for it sometimes. Many are blind to it. I’ve been blind to it. It is hard not to think that our lives are an entertainment for others while we seem to suffer. I know many times I brood over this situation and tried to figure out why. Is there really an answer?
The only answer I found is waste. It is a waste. The question begs though on whether it is a total waste? Only you can answer this. Not anyone else, not the gods, not the cosmos, not family or friends. Maybe it has been a total waste so far. It doesn’t have to continue to be a total waste. This forum alone has proved there are people you can relate & connect with. You can decide that though you maybe suffering that you can help someone else cope with their suffering. It doesn’t have to be a waste.
This was a choice I made a while back. I tried to end it 9 times. I just couldn’t complete my objective. Something just kept getting in my way. Not sure what it was & it doesn’t matter to me today. You & I could follow a similar path to reach out to others and be for them what others couldn’t or wouldn’t be for us.
Life can be hard. It can be especially hard when you are dealing with depression or any other mental illness. Our feelings and thoughts shape our perception of ourselves and of the world. When our thoughts and feelings seem to continually drag us down, life, indeed, can seem pointless. Especially when this goes on for an extended period of time.
But, I also want to say: This isn’t the end.
You have no idea what five years from now, or ten years from now, holds. In five or ten years, your whole life could change - even if you can’t see that now.
Things can get better. Even if it isn’t in the foreseeable future.
I don’t know what your faith beliefs are. But I like to think about how once I get through the difficult season I’m in, I will have a testimony of God rescuing me from my difficulties That I will be able to share and give hope and encouragement to someone else later on who is going through what I’m currently going through. When that times comes, there will be so much glory brought from my pain or difficulty.
You don’t walk this road alone, friend. We are here for you. We would be so devastated if we lost you. You may not see the value in yourself or in this life right now. Things may be so very bleak. But don’t give up. You never know what the future holds.
Hi there friend. The truth is. Your life isn’t a cosmic joke. I know it may feel like that but it isn’t. There is Divine purpose for your life. There is a reason you are still here on this earth. Whether you believe it or not. God has a plan for your life. He wants nothing but the best for you. He can give us life fully if we are open to it.
I’m sorry if anyone made you feel like there is no reason for your life. The truth is, there is. There really is. Friend, God has a GREAT plan for your life. You are not and never will be better off dead. you are better here. Hold fast.
And i can’t wait to see what amazing things you’ll do in life.