Recently I’ve started having a crush on someone, but I’m afraid it might be more than a simple crush and that I’ve completely fallen in love witht that person. I’ve never truly loved someone in my life. It would always be crushes, lasting a few months to a year.
The person that I’ve fallen in love with just got out of a relationship that’d lasted for a long time, so I feel like if I tell them that I had fallen in love with them, it would be seen as taking advantage of that person even if they said they were ready to move on.
I believe they had taken a liking to me as we talk on a regular basis, but I’m afraid I’m not the only one they talk to this often.
And I’m very afraid of that. That they’ll be taken away from me and leave my side.
But then I ask myself: am I ready to be loved? Am I a good person for them? Are they just being nice and giving me attention because we have similar interests? What if I turn out to be a big disappointment to them?
Those are the questions I keep asking myself, making myself doubt a lot.
I’ve always had trouble being love. I would freak out when someone would voice their love to me or show effection as I grew up with little effection from my family and friends.
So in some way, it would be new for me to show my affection and if possible to be loved back.
I am very afraid to love and to be loved to the point I feel I might miss an opportunity.
Thank you for taking the time to read what I’ve been afraid to admit for years.
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Hey Foxiesx,
I want to know that you are loved and cared for by many people. And you are very much worthy of love and affection. You are good enough and if this person doesn’t feel like you are then they aren’t worth your time. You are a wonderful person and deserve the best.
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I can understand where you’re coming from. I remember when I had a crush on this one dude at this one after school program I was in. I thought the same thing you did. I thought that he was more than a friend. I tried to get to know him without being obvious about it (But who knows… I might have been obvious…). Eventually, this guy left the group, and I haven’t seen him since. I was crushed… I even told a group leader that I was sad that he had left. This is what she told me (in broken bits and pieces as I can’t remember exactly what she said.) She said that it’s totally okay to have a crush that might be more than a crush. She said that it’s okay to love someone even if they leave. And she said that even if I don’t see him again, or if it didn’t work out, (and this is what I want you to hear), to cherish the moments that I had with him.
As for being afraid to be loved… I understand that too somewhat. My mother died when I was six, and when my father got remarried, I didn’t really know what to do. My mom, as I learned to call her, is an amazing woman, but I’m sad to admit that at first, I didn’t really accept her love for me. I wasn’t really sure how to accept it, and I was afraid. @Foxiesx, you aren’t alone in this. I can sort of understand this situation. My advice about being afraid to be loved is to be patient, and if you feel like giving him a chance, I would recommend doing it. Just remember, you are totally worth being loved. After giving my mom a chance, I learned that love is a two sided relationship. But it is okay. You are awesome just being you. You are perfect just the way you are. And remember, if he can’t see that, then he isn’t worth it. But it is your choice. Don’t feel like you’re inclined to tell. It’s your choice.
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