I dunno what’s happening to me. There’s only been a few things I would be upset about, but my underlying feeling is just depression. No matter how happy I am, underneath it is sadness. I’m trying to tell myself that it’s just a depressive episode and that the episode will be over eventually, but that isn’t helping. I just feel horrible. I wish my brain would stop. My self-hating thoughts are racing, and I’m just trying to be strong. My coping skills are kinda working, but still. So, I guess that’s what this post is. I feel horrible and I don’t know what to do.
Love,
Marlow Blue
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hello,
I know how you feel. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t say anything to make you feel 100%, but I can say is that you just have to keep stepping through it all. I know thats so hard to do, and it’s easier said than done, but I believe in you. please know that you are loved and cared for, and I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you really are. take time to figure things out please. take time to figure out whats happening, why you’re depressed, and if you can’t figure that out, figure out ways to distract yourself from these thoughts and feelings, or figure out ways in which you think you can get better. you say you want your brain to stop, and I am here to tell you that if you ever want your brain to stop thinking these things, you can (again, easier said than done), but you can make it happen. whenever your mind is racing and you can’t control it, just say stop. tell yourself to stop letting these things take over you. tell yourself to stop letting these thoughts win. tell your brain that you will not let it win, and that you will not let these thoughts and feelings overwhelm you. you are so strong. you said you’re just trying to be strong, and that is so great. that’s all you need. as long as you’re trying, thats all you can do. I’m so proud of you.
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@Marlowblue you’re not alone. A lot of people have this underlying feeling. They can have an amazing day and then as soon as they’re left alone - bam, depression hits. I understand this so much myself. Maybe give Dwarf Planet, the recent HeartSupport work book a go if you haven’t. It will help you explore and work on those feelings. I’ve just started it again myself - and it’s helped a lot of others. Keep reaching out - it’s a healthy way to cope and we are here to listen.
Hold fast
Kayla
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Hey @Marlowblue,
I’m not sure how well-versed you are within the world of counseling, but usually if you feel severely depressed for no specific reason, it means that there is some type of chemical imbalance in your brain that needs to be looked at (via a psychiatrist). There is NO shame in doing this - in fact, seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Having a professional counselor to talk to makes you feel so much better after ever session, so I would highly recommend looking into it. In the meantime, keep telling yourself that you’re strong, because you ARE. You’re a warrior. Keep fighting. We believe in you and are here for you if you need us. Thank you for reaching out and please keep doing so!
-Eric
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I Understand this greatly. It is hard. You want to get to the point that you combat those negative thoughts automatically & those thoughts become like white noise in the back of your mind. If you need any tips on how to proceed let me know.