Tonight I Dishonored and disrespected someone and their family at their own home. I didn’t mean to do it, but I did it. I want to make it better by taking my life but I just can’t push the knife deeper into my wrist. Why can’t I? It would fix everything! I just want to fix my mistake, and this would solve it all. I don’t see the point in talking to someone about it because they would just say it isn’t worth it and to find another way. But no. I know the way to make the world a better place. I know how. I just can’t do it. Please talk me into it so I can take this burden off of everyone.
@Amcgr434 ,
Ending your life isnt the answer, you messed up? well its okay to mess up but you need to knowthat you didnt mean to. Self harm isnt the answer either. and that IS NOT healthy. you are not a burden . your life is precious and we want you alive.
you are human, you have breath in your lungs , you are allowed to make mistakes . just know it gets better and people will forgive you for your mistake.
-ashley
2 Likes
Dude, that would be the one thing that would make it impossible to fix anything. There’s got to be a way to actually make things better. We can go through this with you. Don’t give up, we’re with you.
hey there. Im sorry you’re in this kind of situation. I just want you to know that suicide IS NOT THE ANSWER. I dont think anyone would want you to take your life, especially the people/family you’ve mentioned in your post.
I don’t think that is the right answer @Amcgr434. Your life is so valuable and you are loved more than you can ever know. No matter what you have done, death is not required to pay for the transgression. Jesus already did that for you!
Taking your own life is not the way to go!
You messed up, and that’s ok! we’re all human, please don’t hurt yourself either, that isn’t healthy, and in the long run, it wont solve anything.
You are NOT a burden, you ARE wanted, and you ARE loved.
This will pass, it will get better, people do forgive.
I feel like the thing that stands out to me is the same thing that probably stands out to most and that’s “talk me into it” < I had this mindset for ages, I just wasn’t so direct and honest. I would push people so hard… I mean Dan and Casey you know how hard I fought to push you away… It was because I wanted to have a reason enough to push me over the edge to get the guts to actually take my life.
If the people I love so much who promised not to leave me, actually leave me and I’m left with no one, that would be my reason. < I never told anyone that. I just used the excuse “well, everyone leaves, so if I push you away, you can’t hurt me” Shortly after I scared the crap out of the community with talk of suicide and disappearing… I had a “dream” about my suicide. It was the complete opposite of what I was looking for. I was hurting more than when I was alive. I was feeling so much regret, I just wanted to go back and undo it… The emotion was so real. I woke up crying and just messaging everyone telling them I loved them. I felt the guilt, the hurt that everyone was feeling.
My suicide dream < here’s my post about the dream I mentioned. It’s a tough read, but I hope that it somewhat helps you.
Hold Fast
Kayla
Hey there
I think everybody makes mistakes, and big ones as well, and i also hate that feeling of shame and regret, but there are other ways to deal with this. People can always be forgiven if they seek that forgiveness. One can always say sorry. Write it out first if you’re nervous (A feeling i could understand, because you probably don’t assume that it would be accepted). You never know before you tried.
You’re loved, you can get through this. Hushy~