I’m a 30yo male. I have 2 kids and a good job and a wife. You would think I would be happy I’m not. Everyday I think about all the times people have hurt me or backstabbed me. It consumes me. It starts as soon as I open my eyes. Most of my friends in my life have talked behind my back or have blew me off and acted like it wasn’t that big of a deal or they didn’t give a shit. Everyday I ask my self why? I had a friend that I played with as a child and grew up by each others side write a faulty check to my job when I did a repair on his car. A co-worker over heard him
Bragging to our mutual friend who also worked with me about it. I had to cover the whole bill and after asking him for 2 years straight I never got it back. next I had a friend I worked with. Our kids hungout we camped and everything together. I thought we had a really good friendship. I took a vacation day and he had to fix a car I made a mistake on. The next day i over heard him say he didn’t even no how I still work there and I was a idiot (I recently left the job for a better one). I called him out and he denied saying any of it and told me I was acting like a girl and that he didn’t no if he wanted to be my friend because I was accusing him of things. He totally turned it on me. These are the 2 main things that are constantly going through my head and I haven’t seen these people for years. I allways get things turn around on me and I feel horrible. People screw me then I call them out on it and I end up being the one saying I’m sorry. What is wrong with me? I’m allways worried people are talking shit on me. I want everyone to like me. If someone is mad at me I hate it. Even if they screw me and I yell at them and try to defend my self I feel bad after and I end up saying I’m sorry even though it’s the other person that should. Please help. This stuff really bothers me. I do see a therapist and take depression medication but neither seems to be helping the worrying. Please help?
Hey Mooseman,
I’m going to rip the band-aid off and say that there will always be people who dislike you or have an issue with you. Trust me, I know this because I’ve been wanting everyone to like me since I could make friends. It hard to think of someone disliking me, I drift to thought of what I can do to make them like me or if I did something wrong. It took me a bit to realize, that I don’t need to be everyone’s friend, but cherish the ones I have around me and improve those relationships.
When it comes to apologizing when they turn it on you, that is something you have to catch yourself and just kinda decline them an apology as respectfully as you can. They might keep wanting an apology for what you may have said or done, but don’t do it UNLESS you’ve crossed a line. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
It gets rough, but let those people who have turned on you go. If a bridge is weakened and no one but you wants to fix it, then its not going to work. It sucks…it really sucks, but eventually it gets better and you’ll feel better. As for seeing a therapist? To be honest, that never hurts and its always to get a professional eye on things.
I do hope this helps and keep your head up man. It might seem like everyone is against you, but remember you have an army of those who love you and will do nothing but to keep your head up <3
-Snuffles