when I’m left with my thoughts, they rip me to pieces. why am I here with this body and this life? couldn’t it have been so much more? who the fuck would want to help me out of it? to find the way to make it better… I’m too far down & God knows I can’t do it all alone. God knows I need his hand. but I know I am not worthy, so I don’t reach for Him. I wouldn’t dare… knowing what I am and who I’ve become, how am I worthy of His love. how am I worthy of love at all
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@Dlb123 being left alone with our thoughts can be the most painful thing. You are here because you are worth life.
WE want to help you out of it. This community will always be here to help you. You are here, breathing and have been brave enough to share this with us and that makes you worth of God’s love too. You are not a lost cause and you CAN do so much more with your life - it’s just right now, the way forward is baby steps. Have you looked into the HeartSupport app and the truth audios on there? I think in this situation they could be extremely helpful to you. They are just a few minutes long and have really helped a lot of people, including me at times of need. You’re not alone. You are never alone.
Hold Fast
Kayla
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Hey @Dlb123,
I can understand how you feel. Though every story including yours is unique to all others, I have shared your struggle. Just like many people, I have been consumed by mistakes of the past, sins of the past, to the point where I felt like there was no point in living. I felt like I did not deserve anything.
You seem to feel somewhat like that too, but here is the thing: Nobody deserves God’s love, nobody is worthy — the amazing thing about grace is that He loves us all anyway. He wants the best for us. He wants us to turn away from our sin, shame, and darkness, and seek His righteousness, hope, and light. Humans are sinful by nature. But thanks to God, no matter how far you have gone from the path God has set for you, no matter how far you fall short of what God desires, He still forgives you and welcomes you with open arms.
You are loved, my friend. It’s okay to need God’s hand. Everyone does. The most important part is realizing that, which you have already done. I’m proud of you, and I know you are strong enough to overcome these feelings. Remember, the way you feel will change, but God’s love for you does not.
Hold fast, and reach out if you need anything.
With much love and lots of hugs,
Zachary
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Hey @Dlb123,
Thank you for reaching out to us. You are NOT alone. Even if you feel like no one cares, I promise you, someone does. When in doubt, you have us. 
Echoing what @zleif wrote about me - no one, not even deacons or pastors, are worthy of His love. BUT what is amazing (and sometimes confusing) is that God gives it anyway. Heck, He loves us so much that He gave His only Son to die on the cross for us as the ultimate sacrifice. You are always forgiven, and you are always welcomed. After all, Jesus spent most of his time hanging out with really broken people. I recommend finding a nearby, healthy church. I’ve found the Christian community to be a really amazing community to be around. Stay strong, friend!
-Eric
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Hey DIb123,
I know how this goes, being left alone in your thoughts stinks. Often times I think I am never good enough to feel God’s love and grace. It tears you up inside I know. However, His love is unconditional and ever reaching and I know it sounds like a corny worship song but I believe it to be true. I have done tons of stupid things in my life, but we can grow and learn from them, you will be in my prayers.
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