I live with depression for about 10 years now. I always felt alone. I only find a little bit of peace in the stage first as Drummer and now as a Comedian what feels so paradox. I had a lot of struggels and lost a lot of my “friends” because of the hell I have to get through. I reach out to find new people to talk to. Find people who feel the same way.
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Rob, thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear you have been dealing with depression for so long. I, too, have been suffering with severe anxiety and depression for around 13 years. It’s brutal. I understand. The people around us, even the closet ones, don’t always get how painful it can be.
That’s so neat that you are a drummer and a comedian. What you are doing brings smiles and happiness to people. You might get up on stage and make someones night better by sharing your stories. That’s incredible! Keep it up!
Please reach out to someone in your local community who can help you through these tough times of depression. Help is available and we all believe in you Rob!
Stay strong and keep the light of hope alive! God loves you!
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Hi, Rob
I wasn’t going to post much on the forums today because I’ve been a little burnt out, but I saw your post and I wanted to reach out.
First of all, I’m glad that you decided to reach out here and share some of what you are going through. I know reaching out isn’t always the easiest, especially with strangers.
Here there are a lot of people who battle with the same thing. Of all ages from all kinds of different backgrounds.
Heart Support has a few resources for those who battle with depression or self harm. There is a link on their twitch which will take you to a referral for BetterHelp. Where you can receive a free 7 day trial with an assigned therapist online. You can find that at twitch.tv/heartsupport
They also have a book called “Dwarf Planet” for those who battle with depression. That they will send you at no cost to you if you feel this is a resource that could be beneficial to you. That can be found Here
I also created a list of links for music, meditation and cheerful videos to serve as helpful resources for people on the forum who may be battling with depression, anxiety, chronic pain/illness and stress. That can be found Here .
I hope you can find something helpful here or in any of the above links. You are not alone and we value you as a person, a community member and a person who may be struggling. You are important.
Peace and healing to you.
- Kitty
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Thanks to both of you. It’s really helpful to know that there are some people who see a worth in me without even know me. I’ve learned a lot about myself and my feelings and I hope I can help other people with feeling lonley. And that’s what I try as a Comedian. I hope there is Maybe one Person of a hundred in the “crowd” that sees what is possible if you dont give up. But then there are days like today…your head turns upside down and your thoughts wont stop running in circles.
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Rob, I most definitely see worth in you. As I do everyone here. I say what @DyllonKG says over and over. And that’s, it doesn’t take knowing a person personally to know that they are deserving of compassion, love and understanding.
I too have learned a lot about myself and hope that through my experiences that I can help others or at least show them that they aren’t alone and there is hope. That it’s possible to come through depression and hard times.
I think it’s great that you do comedy. Do you have any videos around of you? Do you do local gigs? Is it a pass time or more professional? What’s your story of becoming a comedian?
I have those days. Today has been an emotional day for me. I’ve been burnt out. Hopefully something in that link I gave you or someone here can provide you some peace and comfort to help calm and relax your mind from spinning so much.
Feel free to share also what may be causing your mind to spin. If you’re comfortable.
- Kitty
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Yes I have some Videos but they are in german language, so you might don’t understand it. At the moment I just played a few shows in germany because I don’t have that much time… Im a Trainee for Office managment. But if I’m done with learning I might do more Shows. I become a comedian because I lost my Band but I didnt want to lose my stagetime and some people told me I’m a funny guy ( I’m not sure about that).
Today my thoughts are like "everything is senseless, empty or I do more wrong than right…it feels like I can’t be alone right now because the lonlyness pushes me down further and further…
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Oh neat! You’re in Germany! Long ways away from where I am (:
Yea I don’t know any German so I wouldn’t understand, but I still think it’s really great that you can do something that you enjoy and have a passion for! I’m sure you’re funnier than you credit yourself.
You are not alone friend. I battle those same emotions every single day. Especially recently. Things may feel pointless and senseless, but you are worth fighting for my friend. And fighting through those feelings. I know how trapping it can be to feel that way and how hard sometimes it can be to come out of it. But I hope that you will be able to continue to find strength and courage to pull through it and push through your day.
And I hope that you are able to find people to surround yourself with that show you how cared for and valued you are. Who lift you up and support you.
- Kitty
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Rob, thanks so much for sharing about how you are feeling. I am very new to posting here. I just started today actually but I wanted to be able to communicate with wonderful people like yourself because we all need to be surrounded by love and support.
And to echo what @anon17277947 said, every person has value and worth. Even though I don’t know you personally, you have immense value and you are loved. That’s the beauty of Heart Support!
I struggle with quite severe depression myself. It’s been about 13 years for me. While I can’t fully understand where you are at right now, because that is unique to you, I want you to know that I feel for you. Hopefully this extra bad day today will pass quickly.
I also love the way you look at your comedy. It was so inspiring to me to know that you want to get up on stage and help at least one person in the crowd with your unique personality, charm, and humor! That’s wonderful!
Keep being awesome and stay strong my friend!
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Der Kitty,
Thank you so much for your Kind words. Where do U live? The Problem is and maybe the problem always was that people who understand me and know how it is to get through this hell are too far away. I think sometimes people like us don’t want someone to talk about everything… Maybe we just want someone to be there to enjoy that we’re not alone… I know it sounds very weird…
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Wow now you left me speechless with tears in the eyes… But just because I can’t believe that there is such a beautiful answer… Thank you so much everybody! I always thought I’m alone even if everyone says I’m not… But now I know there are a handfull of people at my side…
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Rob,
I live in the US. Living in South Carolina where it’s 100 degrees, humid and hot! Haha. I’m currently melting into a puddle as we speak.
And YES! I do agree with that statement. My issue has always been that my closest and most supportive friends have always been across the country from me. Seeing them has always been hard. But this was a part of being a military wife. Making friends was very hard on me. So I spent a lot of time alone. Socializing with strangers on the internet to pass time. It’s part of why I spend so much time on the wall. Because I have a lot of free time and also a lot of heart to share with the world. So I use this platform as a way to reach out to others. Not just to comfort them but also it’s healing to me to be able to help others. It makes me feel like I have purpose. Probably similarly to how you do comedy to make others laugh. (:
I don’t think that sounds weird at all.
You have a friend here. To both listen and enjoy your company. I’m glad that we have connected! Talking to you has seriously lightened up my mood today. I wasn’t even going to post on the wall today and I’m so glad I opened your message and read it!
- Kitty
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Absolutely Rob! I understand what you mean when people tell you it will be okay and that there are others out there. Sometimes that doesn’t help in the moment. Again, that is why Heart Support is so amazing!
I’m sure the next time you get on stage for your comedy, you will make someone, or many people in the audience joyful. They may be struggling and your words might help them through something that day.
We believe in you @Rob
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@anon17277947 Thank you for sharing this amazing post! It’s so helpful to hear this. I am brand new to this here on Heart Support and I appreciate your outlook and how you are helping others but it’s also giving back to you in amazing ways. Thank you! 
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I’m really happy that you feel a but better now. Oh it’s so Hit there haha here you have to wear Winter clothes in the morning 
My big Problem at the moment is that I’ve felt good the last days and now it hits so hard that I almost forget the last few days… The good feelings…
Maybe I can someday translate my show in english so U can listen to… Maybe it males you smile for a while
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Rob, the good days will come again! I know it’s super hard when it feels like walking through darkness with no light, but it will come. What’s one thing you can do today that will help bring you happiness and bring a smile to your face? For me, it’s going for a walk, listening to some metal, or playing some video games. What about you?
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Hold,
Absolutely! I love connecting to people and being able to share my experiences where we relate.
Something that has helped me cope with my hardships and depression is knowing that even if what I went through was difficult, challenging and hurtful, I am still able to make something good out of it. By taking my experiences and knowledge that I have gained and use it to help someone else who may have had the same experiences. And through that we can become stronger.
It always helps to know you aren’t alone when you are hurting. Many years I felt alone. And many years I didn’t have a safe place like this to turn to. So I lived in anger. I don’t want others to have to feel like that. So even if I can’t be there physically I want people to know that there is someone out there who loves and values them.
Helping others has always been a calling to me. I don’t always feel like I have a lot of purpose in life. I often feel like I’m not good at much. But when I can help make someone else smile or feel better, I feel like I have purpose and meaning in life.
And I am so grateful that the three of us have connected through Robs post!
Please feel free to connect with me on Discord and join the Heart Support Discord
- Kitty
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I’ve tried some month ago to open up a help site in Facebook for people with depression but the people around here just don’t want to see such Problems. They just close theyre eyes and live like…alone… But there was a girl that wrotes me and asks for help with her feelings and I helped her… It was the best feeling ever
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I might do similar things… Playing a little bit ps 4 and Listen to Music I love. And I want to check out the playlist that kitty sends me.
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@Rob @anon17277947 I am very grateful we all connected as well! It’s truly amazing the amount of kindness and respect on the Heart Support wall. I love it! Both of you have already shown true kindness!
You both are so valuable. What’s awesome is that we each have gifts, no matter how small or big, that can help someone to feel valued. I have seen that so far in both of you!
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Rob,
Yea that’s the thing with depression. You can have several good days! But when depression hits, it so easily can put a fog over the good and make it hard to notice. Because you are hurting. I can totally understand that! Many days I go through this.
I try to always remind myself of the positives in my life, even if I’m depressed. I try to remind myself no matter how bad I feel in this moment that I have good things in my life that are worth fighting for.
It wasn’t always like that. I did have a rough time for a while where I didn’t have any good to fight for. And I had to force myself to take action and fight for something good. It took a lot of work but it was worth it.
It would be cool if you could translate it someday but just talking to you has made me smile! So there’s that!
- Kitty
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