Hi everyone,
I am a kind of lost in my own faith. I mean I only just found my footing and helped my friend find hers. I really don’t know how to feel. I only just found out that my mum family is coming down here. And apparently there Christian but the extremist kind. I tried to explain why I found this concerning but every time I come off judgemental, I mean they are really extreme. I know they are nice people and all. But that doesn’t stop the fear of being judged by them since I am quite the opposite of a extreme Christian and more on the relaxed alternative side.
I don’t want to cast judgement or ostracise them either . I kind of want to middle ground. What do I do? Should I just pretend until they leave.
Your identity is with Christ. The only judgement you should worry about is with God. Just be nice to them and be your self. Easier said than done, i know. But you will get by.
Thank you for sharing. Everyone has their own beliefs so sometimes it’ll be hard to get something across to them. Just be yourself and stand up for what you believe in! Not everyone will agree with you and that’s just opinions. Educate them in any way you can!
Hey @Carolyn88 - Thank you for reaching out! I believe that an extremist in anything is unhealthy to an extent because it can also insinuate a closed-mindedness persona. I’m sure that your family comes from a good heart, so try not to give them too much heat for their beliefs. Just be yourself and if they don’t like it then that’s their problem.
Trust me, I understand what it feels like to feel lost in your faith. You are not alone. It is a very common experience and I would argue it happens to everyone who is trying to find faith. Sometimes you have to be lost to be found. I believe you will come around from feeling lost to realize that faith is not a feeling but a choice.
I also understand the clash with dealing with different types of Christians, and I can see how that would be especially difficult with family. Please realize that any true Christian should not be judgmental of others (though everyone falls short of Jesus’ example), and every true Christian ultimately holds close to one main belief – the Gospel. You and your family, if truly Christians, believe that God sent Jesus into the world to live a perfect life, to die for us, and to overcome death so that we might have eternal life. Christians are followers of Christ at the core, so I urge you to try very hard to put aside your differences and hold fast to this common belief. At the same time, you cannot control how they handle themselves, so I hope for you that they are not judgmental of you, because there is nothing you can do about that but try to respond in the most appropriate way possible. That feeling really, really sucks, especially from fellow Christians who are theoretically worshiping the same Jesus yet still looking down on you for your beliefs – so I hope that this is not the case and that you can all get along.
One suggestion based on reading a little into what you implied is to just avoid talking about politics. That is one of the number one ways to divide people, especially family. Also, sometimes people will say things you totally disagree with and you might feel inclined to argue back – I know I do – but especially with family I strongly encourage you to resist that urge and just let it go. One phrase I like to remember in these situations is “Let Go and Let God.” Sometimes that helps.
I hope everything goes well when they visit, and I hope that being in community with them would not be spiritually and emotionally harmful but instead be constructive to growing in your faith.
Be yourself. Yet if you want to avoid drama then avoid it. There is no shame in it & you’re not being a hypocrite if you explain your actions to the people that know you. Always be honest, but if all honesty does is bring the pain. Best to avoid pain. If you got to lie then it is only because the people having you lie are delusional and won’t accept honesty. (Unless you want a fight then I say be brutally honest.)
