My family has control of my life

I live with my grandmas and they treat me as sub-human. I used to live with my dad, but he was abusive so I moved in with my grandmas, and now they’re abusive. Yesterday, they threatened to kill me because I woke up 5 minutes late. CPS won’t do anything, but I’m struggling to make it to June (when I turn 18). I’m trans and they make my dysphoria even worse; they deadname and misgender me constantly, they cut up all three I’m brought, and they’re convinced my gender is just a phase despite the fact that I came out to them 5 years ago. They won’t let me cut my hair how I want (a buzz cut) or bind, and they won’t let me get any body modifications even though they help with my dysphoria. I feel out of control of my body, which is why I’ve self harmed and have an eating disorder (also, I can’t have a feminine fat distribution if I don’t have any fat). We’ve tried family therapy, and it’s only seemed to give them reasons to yell at me and insult me. I’m moving in with my boyfriend as soon as I turn 18, but it just seems so far away. I’m not good at having hope, because I’ve always been let down. I just don’t expect to live that long.

I am sorry that you’re going through this. (I think if they can’t use your pronouns then maybe ask them to use your name?)

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Connor, I am so sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have people you love not affirm and love you for who you are. Who you are is NOT a phase, and I’m sorry that those in your life have a hard time seeing that. I’m glad you have your boyfriend and I hope that he is a good support system for you. I know that it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you are SO CLOSE to turning 18. Hold fast my friend you will get through this. I would love to send you some resources for self harm that might help.

Hold fast

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Thank you; they actually emailed all of my teachers last year and told them not to use my chosen name, so I know they wouldn’t be willing to use it.

Thank you, and I’m kind of used to it? My family’s never been healthy. I’m so grateful that I have my boyfriend, I love him with my entire being and I don’t know where I’d be without him. I appreciate the kind words :two_hearts::sparkling_heart::two_hearts:I’m hoping I’m doing better with self harm; I went to a facility mid-November and I’ve been clean since then, but I’ll gladly accept resources!!!