I feel like I screwed up, My friend/bassist in my band hates himself. I have a friend named Ethan. he harms himself alot. he tells me his problems but this brings me down. I want to tell him to get help but he makes me feel bad but I want to make him feel better and I feel like a terrible friend. I met him at a therapeutic/Learning Disability school before i graduated he moved back home. he was doing fine until recently. he needs to get HELP. I need to not allow him to maniputate me into his therapist even though i have problems myself what do i do
You’re not fucking up.
It’s okay to need to take a step back, you can’t help your friends if you aren’t in a good place yourself. Direct them here to HeartSupport even, there’s alwas a place here.
Have you heard of ReWrite and Dwarf Planet? Both are books released by HeartSupport and are amazing resources. ReWrite focuses on self harm, and has a small work book in the back - it could be good for both you and your friend as there’s a section in there for family and friends too. Dwarf Planet is a work book on feelings of depression etc
Remember, it’s okay to take that step back - your friend might be self harming but he is reaching out for help which is a good sign. You can help him by being there when you feel you can and by looking after yourself. If you can convince him to go and find some help - you can go with him for the first meeting, it makes things so much easier. I’m a self harmer as well, the things that help me are just KNOWING that I have someone there to fall back on even if I don’t have the physical support around me.
Hold fast
Kayla
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You’re not screwing up, you obviously really care about your friends!
Suggesting that he may need help, isn’t being a terrible friend. It shows that you care want to see him get better, and that him dumping everything on you isn’t what is best for him or for you. If he is resistant to seeking help, direct him to other resources - like the ones @Kayla suggested.
Remember to take care of yourself and your well being too - it’s not selfish, it necessary.
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