My grandmother passed away

Yesterday night I got home and saw the plushie I gave my grandma as well as the flower on the dining room table. And right then I knew. I asked if grandma was okay, and then my sister and I were told that she passed away earlier that day.

My mother held her hand as she died. She kept holding it even after she died. My aunt and uncle were there as well; thing is, my aunt just “couldn’t” make it to the hospital as my grandmother lay there dying until after my uncle got home from his fishing trip.

A very kind nurse even called my aunt and left her a message, my aunt didn’t even bother to call back.

An old friend of my grandmother walked in to visit while my grandma was on her deathbed. She couldn’t ask “how are the girls” or “how have you been” to my mother. No. She decides to say “you know you and your sister really need to get things straight. You need to work things out”

ALL. WHILE. MY GRANDMA. IS LAYING. On HER DEATHBED.

Like, what the heck dude. My mom is holding her hand as my grandma keeps making herself wake up because she was scared of dying.

That’s what hurts the most. She was scared to die. She was trying to fight dying.

My aunt did literally NOTHING. Nothing. Everything is on my mom and my gosh she is my hero and she is a freaking warrior because she just does it. She tried to put it in my aunts hands but for gosh sakes my aunt just does not care.

All my uncle could say to my mom was “there there it’ll be ok” like are you freaking serious??? This woman dying should mean just as much to you as she does to my mother. We are all related. We have all had so many Christmas’ and holidays together. Barbecues, parties, graduations, birthdays.

And all they did, my aunt, uncle, that old friend of hers… all they did was sit in the freaking hallways and talk about who was getting my grandmas stuff.

My cousin, and her friends, gosh it makes me so mad and so sick.

As far as we are all concerned, my mom dad sister and I, they are not family anymore. I never want to see them. Never want to talk to them anymore. I don’t wish bad on them. But they are nothing to me anymore.

The hard part is my grandmother chose the worst way to go out. She made things so much worse than they needed to be, and painful. We couldn’t forget her to go to hospice where she could pass comfortably.

At least in my heart, and my parents and sisters hearts, we know we did right. We did the right thing. That’s all.

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@Lyss

I’m sorry about your loss. When it comes to family, they don’t know how to react properly when a member passed away. Whether they are in denial or not, it is something it will happen. I hope you will forgive them one day. I send my condolences to you. :slightly_frowning_face:

I’m sorry Lyss. My Grandfather passed away in 2012. He was the only grandparent that ever meant anything to me despite the hardships we went through. He was the only one that ever stood up and defended me and treated me like a person. I was with him till he took his last breath. It was the hardest thing.
Once he passed away, I basically was disconnected from my entire family. They were all toxic anyway. And like your family, so many family members could only talk about who would get what. The day after he passed, the first thing my grandma did was go and pull out money and go shopping.
Before he passed she yelled and screamed about him coming home to do hospice. She said “I’m NOT GOING TO MOVE MY CHAIR TO BRING IN A DAMN BED IN MY LIVING ROOM”

So, I know the feeling of selfish and hurtful family members.

Don’t feel guilty if you need to dissociate from some. Like you said, you don’t have to wish Ill will, but you don’t have to talk to anyone if they are just hurtful people.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard. If you ever need to talk I’m only a message away. :heart:

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My condolences to you. Your mom sounds like a true warrior ! It’s sad to hear that she’s getting no support from your aunt and others. But at least she’s got you, your dad n sisters to turn to fir unconditional love and support. My Mom “punched her ticket” and went to Heaven just over 2 months ago. She was tired of battling COPD and stage 4 breast cancer. She made made her decision and went as peacefully as possible. Just know that while the transition for your grandma was tough for her and you guys, that she is now free from pain and at peace. I talk to my Mom off n on every day because I choose to believe she is watching over us and I’ll see her again. I don’t know what your thoughts are on stuff like that, but I find it very comforting. Our loved ones are always with us, my friend.
I found the community here shortly after my Mom went to Heaven and I gotta say all of you here are amazing.
Stay strong my friend and much love :heart:

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Lys you are such a valued member of this community and even more than that you are my best friend. What you are going through is valid really sucks and im sorry you had to. Those memories will last forever. Keep your head up, we’re here for you!

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