I left my husband in September to move with family in MI until I could move to my moms in OH. I thought I was doing what’s best but I was only doing what I wanted. I was selfish. My husband begged me to come back but I convinced myself that I was better off and that we could never fix it. Now over 3 months later I have truly been seeking God and diving into Hos word and He’s opened my eyes. I need to fight for my marriage because that’s what He would want and I realized that He can make our marriage new. Unfortunately I took too long to realize and now my husband has filed for divorce and he says that we are through and that he can’t see us together again. I’m broken over it. The heartache is unbearable being so far away from him and unable to run to him. I don’t want to lose him. I love him so much! And it’s kilking me inside. I barely got a job and have to try and save up to go back home and fight for my marriage but waiting another month is depressing.
Oh man, that is so brutal, Savanna…to feel this huge weight of regret for a mistake that you made and feel like you can’t undo it…gosh dude, so brutal…I want for you to hold onto hope though. The God that revealed to you the desire to fix the marriage is still with you. He promises to walk with you through even the darkest valley. Because you have him, you lack nothing. His goodness and love will follow you all the days of your life. I hold onto Psalm 23 in so many moments when I feel lost and untethered. I’m not sure what God’s up to through all of this, but certainly it’s an opportunity for instead of running into your husband’s arms, to run into His. He’s clearly speaking to you right now, and above any other piece of advice, I’d seek His voice, His direction in this. Pray for your husband. Pray for direction. Listen. He’ll lead!
Write to him, text him, message him. Do what you can to keep in contact with him. If you’re serious about saving your marriage.
Also, you should talk with him. He might be confused about why you’ve changed now. A good conversation about why saving your marriage is worth it might be what is needed. Just remember that you’re both individuals. So while you still want your marriage to work & desire to put your god first. Your husband might be going on a different path. Keep this in mind even if before he wanted to try to save your marriage and now it is you that want to save your marriage.
I hope only good things for both of you whether it is as a couple or not.
If he honours marriage like you wish to, and still loves you (assuming he truly did before), he will take you back. If not, don’t beat yourself up. You just have to move on (and I know that is much harder than it sounds!)
Why not write him a love letter?
Well thank you everyone for reaching out to me. I just found out that he is dating someone and it looks as if she may be pregnant. So it’s truly over. But I know God has plans for me anyhow and they are good! 
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