So to preface this, my relationship with my sister wasn’t exactly great before now, hasn’t been for a while, but I feel like I pushed things over the edge. I’ve talked about this before so I’ll spare the details, but the abridged version is that last year I was in an unhealthy relationship, which I kept secret from my family. As a result, I lied to my whole family for quite some time, and I feel like my sister hasn’t really forgiven me or moved past it as of now. Before, we just never really spent a lot of time together, and would sometimes get in really bad fights. Now however, we hardly talk at all, and the smallest thing can become the biggest fight at any given moment. What definitely hasn’t helped was that she’s moved away to college since then. Her relationship with the family as a whole isn’t ideal, but I feel like it’s worse with me in particular. She will still reach out to the others fairly regularly, but I always have to be the one to reach out to her, and even then, she’ll end the conversations pretty quickly. She will still play video games online with my brothers and my other sister sometimes, but I’m never invited to join, even when I’ve voiced that I’d like to. I’ve talked to my mom about this, and my mom assured me that I’ve done everything I can to make up for what I did, and that at this point it’s up to my sister to forgive me, if that is indeed what’s going on. I understand that, but it doesn’t help this feel any less like my fault. I lied to her, along with the rest of my family, and now I feel like this is the price I have to pay for that, and no matter how hard I’ve worked to undo what I did, I feel like I deserve this as a punishment. I wish things were different, but I don’t think things will be getting better any time soon.
Quit blaming yourself. Quit over thinking things as well. Maybe your sister blames herself for not being there for you and when she’s around you she feels guilty herself and shuts down. Maybe you trigger ill feelings she rather avoid yet it isn’t your fault? Maybe she can’t forgive herself.
After all you said it yourself. You two were never close and the fact you lied to your family isn’t a good reason for being unforgiven. To me it sounds like she’s younger than you and generally women in a lot of ways are immature at a young age. The way it is now might change after your sister grows up like closer to her 30s maybe when she’s 30.
She’s actually older than me, and in her early twenties.
Like I said. Most men mature early. Most women mature later on. Whatever the reason she’s avoiding you most of the time (Guilt over herself or Blaming you) I am sure given time it will change for the better and even if it doesn’t…
Just keep trying to reach out. Maybe even having an honest talk with your sister may air things out between you. Just keep reaching out to her and eventually you will reach her whether or not it changes the situation between you two.
Alright, well I’ll keep that in mind, thank you for responding, it’s greatly appreciated.