My sister is one of the reasons why I’m messed up

Ever since I was little, my sister and I have never gotten along. I always looked up to her, but she never wanted me around, so she would always bully me, call me weird, annoying, and never tried to have a real conversation with me. She is the “golden child” in our family, and whenever she’s around, everything stops, everyone drops what they’re doing and treats her like she’s the only one that matters. Why shouldn’t they treat her like that? She’s funny, beautiful, successful, and has never had any problems with getting people to be her friend. Because I grew up with her telling me that I was weird and that my family doesn’t care about me, that’s what I’ve always believed. I eventually got used to not talking, letting other people step over me because I was scared (am still am) that if I spoke up or stood up for myself, they would hurt me like my sister did. I don’t mean to blame her for me being the way I am today and for messing me up, but she definitely plays a part in it and how I live my life and what I think of myself. I never talk to her now, and now that she’s having a baby, I have to try my best to be even MORE patient and kind with her, which is so hard. I’ve tried and tried my whole life to be as kind and caring as I can. When she’s around I let her have the spotlight, I don’t talk, and I say nothing but good things about her/to her. Nothings good enough. No matter what I do, she still doesn’t want me in her life. I don’t wish to be an important part in her life anymore or to get closer to her, I just want go on with my life without her bashing me for everything I do. If I were to say something (which I’ve tried), it doesn’t work. It’s her way or no way and she can’t see that she has affected me. I don’t know what I did to make my sister hate me.

HI, first off I just want to say how much I know your pain. I know those struggles and you are not alone. Not at all. My older brother became a nuclear engineer at 18 and ii became homeless at 18. I know how it feels to have to mute your self and live in someones shadow. My best advice, is to live life without her. The fact that anyone could treat someone else that way is a tell-tell sign that they aren’t the kind of character you want in your life. You clearly have a ginormous heart and care tremendously for others needs. Don’t let that heart be destroyed by someone who can’t even appreciate it. My brother and I still don’t talk. Not that I wish anything bad on him but his life of putting others down is catching up to him. While my life is catching up to me too, but in all the right ways. Hope this helps. You are loved.

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@nicole_kaley ,
I know getting along with family is hard. me and my sister haven’t gotten along when both me and her were younger. You’re so not alone in this. It sucks when everything is just dropped just for her and when its you its hard , and i’m sorry you had to deal with this.
Whenever me and my sister got in fights i would always be put first because i was the oldest. I would always be involved in drama my sister has started. The TRUTH IS she doesn’t hate you , she may have stuff going on in her life she’s hiding.
Also, please don’t let people step over you, voice your opinion because YOU ARE human and you SHOULD have room to talk . Just be you dont let her bother you. Not every sibling gets along . just know you’re loved
and you are not alone.

I get it… I live with my family and my sisters are the “favourite”. My 20 y/old sister does no wrong in my dad’s eyes. My 18 y/old sister does no wrong in my mums eyes. I’m the one that gets the blame for everything, gets put down over so much… My dad constantly talks about how bad I look, yet always complimenting my sister… It’s so horrible, I’m sorry you have to go through this :frowning: My dad found out I was back in therapy… His comment? “What the hell do you need that for? You’re fine, it’s your sister that needs the support” … KNOWING I’m a self harmer and my sister THRIVES on the crap my dad gives me. She’ll know somethings going on and “I’ll tell dad. you’ll be the one that gets in trouble not me” you’re not alone feeling this way with your family. I love you. You are better than letting the jealousy get to you.

Hold Fast
Kayla

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@nicole_kaley here is our response from our live stream. Hold Fast

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