I did something really dumb atleast on my perspective and I don’t want to seem crazy in the situation, and so just barely a very close and beloved family member of mine has found out something that will make them possibly drop out and hate me for YEARS or maybe FOREVER.
I know it seems ridiculous but I did the math and used common sense.
This family member is really strict but always loved me, but this thing I did is about to
be found out by her extent, I feel that they will never look at me the same way again.
They’ll think I’m mentally ill or even crazy, for all I care they could do anything and it will affect other family members too! I’m at a lost and I need to know what to do now.
If my family doesn’t understand how I felt in the situation, I could seem insane to them and be kicked out of the family maybe. Some of this may have been overreacted but by their side this act may seem HORRIFIC and it will just make me want to die right here and now.
I want all my family members to love me, but if they find out, I’m doomed and I will seem crazy and it will be so overwhelming that they may not believe what I say…
I am getting tired from writing this but I really need advise or immediate care.
I know things are hard right now. I don’t know what the “situation” is you’re referring to, but I have been in situations where I’ve felt like if someone found out, “what will they think of me?” I’ve felt shame in those situations and just wanted to be invisible.
It is SO hard and you just want to not be seen.
I don’t know what your faith beliefs are. But for me, in those times, I remind myself that in Jesus, there is no shame or condemnation. That I may feel these things, but He doesn’t view me in that way. EVEN IF people do. EVEN if I feel those things. Even then, it is a fight. But it’s the closest thing to sanity in those times, the closest thing to hope that I can come to in that moment.
Eventually, those times pass.
Right now, you feel like things will be just horrible. But after time passes, perhaps things won’t be as bad as they’d seemed. In the moment, or even for some time after, it is. But, someday it will pass.
Hold fast. We are here for you.
Hey @Spades,
I’m sorry to hear about you being stuck in the situation of feeling unwary of how your family member will respond to a mistake that you made. There are 2 types of worry - productive worry and unproductive worry. Worrying about how someone else MIGHT respond to your situation is classified as unproductive worry. In other words, you have absolutely no control over how they will personally respond to your situation. Please don’t focus too much on how they MIGHT respond to your situation. You’re strong! You got this!
-Eric
Hey Spades.
I am going to be honest with you. I don’t know what you did, and so I can’t tell you the outcome. That means I can’t tell you if things will work out fine or your should run to the hills and live in a cave the rest of your live.
What I do know is that if they truly love you, they will find a way to deal with it, and still love you afterwards.
Yes, their love might be a little different, a little tarnished maybe, but if they truly love you they will find a way.
You did something you are clearly ashamed of, so I am guessing you’re not going to do it again, or you’ll make sure they’ll NEVER found out… this means that you have learned from a mistake, and that is what life is all about.
For now things are no longer in your control. The ball is in their court, so to speak. This is going to be a nerve racking time, and you can take back control by fessing up before they find out so you’ll at least have that to speak for you, that you were honest. But if you can’t, then the chips will just have to fall where they lay, let things unfold naturally, and you’ll just have to accept what happens after.
Try to eat, try to sleep, drink plenty of water, do the things you have to.
You’ll get through this.
You are DEFINITELY not alone in this time. Everyone has done something in their past they don’t EVER want to be discovered! Even your parents.
Good luck.
Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy