This has taken a lot for me to want to reach out and find others that go through what I do as well. I’ve been free from self harm for basically 4 months… well until today. How in the hell is it that when things are upside down I go back to the blade. I tell myself I have to be smarter than this. Stronger than this. I’m so ashamed of breaking my streak so to say and relapsing. I feel like I’m worthless when I do this. So much guilt after going back to my “old ways.” Thanks for listening… I appreciate it… just so tired of feeling alone in this.
Thank you for posting. I am proud of you for going 4 months without self harm. That is a huge accomplishment! Yes, you caved in. But don’t let this slip up bring you down or make you feel like a total failure. Think of all the time you had clean. You CAN do that again! You are only human. And humans aren’t perfect. Be gentle with yourself and keep pressing on. You can do this!
As NomadicWanderer said, don’t give up! I have a friend who quit smoking for 6 months, but relapsed a few weeks ago. I found out yesterday that he is going to quit again, which is great to see. Just like you, he ended his streak. But it is important to see this NOT as a failure, but as a success of 4 months!
The way I see it; relapses are bound to happen, it is almost impossible to give-up a habit cold-turkey. There will be set-backs, but the important thing is to try again. Get back on the horse and see if you can beat your old streak, if you can’t no worries, it’s just another opportunity to try again.
Hi Hunter,
Hey dude we all fall down sometimes, thats ok, we’re human. We are not perfect. But the fact you’ve been free from it for 4 months is a victory to celebrate within itself! I’m proud of you! And i’m happy that you reached out! Thats one more step to victory my friend. The best i can tell you is if you fall, get back up and if you can’t find the strength to, know that God wants to help. He wants to help you every single step of the way.
You are not worthless, you are human just like the rest of us. Rejoice in the tiny victories. if you fail and get back up, be happy! You’re one step closer. You are not the sum of your failures but the sum of God’s love for you.
praying for you.
Hey one thing i do is draw on my arm instead, with a felt tip pen. It doesn’t work all the time, but sometimes watching the ink is therapeutic enough. Dont feel ashamed of hurting,just remember youre worth more than what your brain is telling you. I don’t know you, but im proud of you!
First I want to say thank you for coming to the support wall to reach out for love and support, we are here for you friend. Secondly, don’t beat yourself up. Unfortunately, relapse is a part of recovery, and there will always be hiccups along the way. But we are all on this road to recovery together! I encourage you to get a copy of rewrite! It’s a book about self harm, and it definitely helped me a lot on this road to recovery!
I want to thank all of you who took the time to reply. I know it’s been a couple days since I posted. I had a couple of bad days with self harm. Basically one of the only people who know (my best friend) sort of glossed over the situation when I brought it up this time. So I was in a dark place. Then I realized maybe she just can’t deal with my stuff and why should I blame her? This is basically a topic that no one talks about openly. So I am going to try to get involved here in this community because you guys obviously do get it. There is so much positive here and not any backlash for being a “failure.” Thank you all for being compassionate.
If anyone has any tips for staying strong I’m all ears. I did try drawing on myself and I think it helped for a few hours but in the end I caved.
one thing i do is draw on my arm instead, with a felt tip pen. It doesn’t work all the time, but sometimes watching the ink is therapeutic enough. Dont feel ashamed of hurting,just remember youre worth more than what your brain is telling you. I don’t know you, but im proud of you!