New here, just wanted to say a few things

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So hello everyone, i am new here and i guess this is the right place for me to say a few things.
So i feel no need to hide, my name is Alex, and i’m from Europe, in some country.
I have been fighting with loneliness for 2 years now, been through 2 therapists and medication doesn’t help me in any way. I will not go into what my life has been till now, just that i wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I don’t know where to start, so i will say it right now, i have decided that i will leave this plane of existence, to put it that way. I am alone, no friends, my brother doesn’t care pretty much, strng social anxiety and suicidal thoughts got the best of me.

I am going to turn 32 years old on the 16th of December, and i never had a relationship this entire time. I never wanted to have a succesful job, or to make big money, cars and all that, my dream was always to have my own family, to have someone i love and share that love . To have children, i love kids, but i will never have that, nor the love of anyone. I am alone, and i will be like this forever.

The pain that i feel in me is going on now for a year, every day is harder and harder to get through. I have made my plans, i am ready to leave and that gives me, strangely enough, some comfort. No friends, no family that cares, this is me, all alone, and this is my choice.
The worst thing is , is that , for the first time, i am afraid of Christmas, i am so alone, and i think i will break so hard…but no matter, as i have made my plans and i am at peace with it all.

I hope you guys and girls are doing better than me, and can look forward to things getting better for you.
I’m sorry if i troubled you with this, this is me.

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Hi there.
You don’t know me yet. I know what it’s like to be alone though. How it feels like when none cares about you or when you need a hug or just someone to talk bit no-one is there. I know what it’s like to look at people in jealousy but hey, you are you we don’t know each other I don’t know your past or anything in that matter and I don’t care the past is something we can’t change. It shapes us b7t in the end what matters is who we are now and I hope you know that no matter how your life has been till now it doesn’t change that your worth something today. I might be terrible at giving advice and I’m not gonna hide that but I do know that no matter who you are you are worth something and that matters. Finding friends who are truly there for you is hard. Keeping up a friendship is harder. And seeing people having fun with others is the worse but that doesn’t mean things have to stay that way. Someday someone might look at you in jealousy.
Now this will sound really strange but the best advice I can give you is to have the courage and be crazy enough to talk to someone. Being weird doing silly things. Don’t be a boring adult age doesn’t matter. Trust me when I say everyone has a weird or crazy side however you may call it and it’s scary to show yours. But once you do people see you for who you are and who knows some might GeT fascinated by it.
Don’t give up. Face the storm and embrace it.
Maybe the result of that might surprise you

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Sorry you’re going through this. Loneliness can make things a lot worse. A lot of what you say sound like my life not so long ago.

You are welcome here. Post as much and as often as you want, join our discord channel, come hang out at twitch. It may not be the relationship you’re looking for, but it beats the crap out of being alone.

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I’m sorry you feel so alone. I can relate so much to what you’re saying. Twitch and this forum help so much as others have said. But you are not alone. We know how you feel. We are here to help and listen, welcome.